Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Have you ever been reported to CPS/DCFS/DCF because of your autistic child's meltdowns?

My son's school has threatened to report me to cps because of my son's meltdowns in school.They say that acting up in school is a sign that there are problems at home, but my son is much more behaved at home than he is at school. The principal, school psychologist and his teacher say that he has problems acclimating to a classroom setting and that this is disruptive to the other children's learning environment. They keep asking me what is going on at home but I don't know what to tell him except that maybe it's the school environment itself and having so much stimulation and so many kids in one room. They have told me that they will give him a few weeks to get settled into the new school year but that they may have to file a complaint against me if they don't see an improvment in my son's behavior. I'm scared!! I don't know what to do to change behaviors that only happpen when he is in school, is my son going to be taken away? I have asked my friend who works in a group home and she said if the school can't control him cps may force me to put him in a group home!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Sep. 2, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (12)
  • No they wont be taken away. Some things that helped my Autistic son were one on one therapy which included Behavior therapy. We also had family therapy so we as a family could be better informed and learn various ways to help him use his coping skills. It sounds like your son does not have many coping skills to use at school. Our therapist was able to work with the school psychologist, teachers and us to develop a plan and inform the teachers of what coping skills he was learning and the best setting for him when he had melt downs. I would definitely look into that. And yes one time my sons teacher reported us to CPS because of his meltdowns and choice of clothing. She was under the impression he was just a brat. Of course she was seriously wrong and ended up with a written complaint in her file from me.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:29 PM on Sep. 2, 2011

  • Hold your ground Hun! I know many many parents of children with special needs that have had their dance with DPSS. Remember, YOU are the parent. Assert that clearly. Be honest, but don't talk to much. Words can be twisted and used out of context. Good luck.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:44 PM on Sep. 2, 2011

  • Sounds like he needs people around him who understand his special needs. Threatening you won't help anything. ::shakes head at the school::
    FLmommy0204

    Answer by FLmommy0204 at 2:27 PM on Sep. 2, 2011

  • I work at a public school, this post does not make sense. I have a REALLY hard time believing we're getting the whole story.
    albionel

    Answer by albionel at 5:53 PM on Sep. 2, 2011

  • I am a special education teacher, and there are laws protecting children like yours. They cannot take your child away based on behavior at school. They can only take him away if you have been proven to be abusing or neglecting him in the home. And I might seriously consider moving him to a school with some knowledge on dealing with children with Autism.
    firefly679

    Answer by firefly679 at 10:10 PM on Sep. 2, 2011

  • One of the hardest things about having a child with autism is when people look at you like it's YOU'RE fault and like YOU'RE a bad parent or aren't telling the whole story!!! You don't know ME or MY child nor do you work at his school!! albionel may want to try using google look up how many parents of special needs children are wrongfully accused of abuse and/or neglect because of the ignorance of other people including school staff!! You may work at a school but it's obvious that you don't have a special needs child, because if you did you'd know how hurtful it is to accuse someone of doing wrong to a child they do everything for!! And firefly679 thanks but I just transferred him to this school this school year because I thought it would be better than his other school where these behaviors originally started. :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:36 AM on Sep. 3, 2011

  • How old is your son? How new is the idea of school to him? It seems that his meltdowns may be from being away from mommy and his home that he is use to. I do not have an autistic child so I am sorry if I am wrong, but the ones I have been around seem to have big issues and meltdowns over changes in schedule. I have a friend who dreads 3 day week ends and school breaks because it is a change in her child's schedule and it sets him off. Winter and summer break are worse because the length of them. He gets use to the idea of being home so the meltdowns and getting use to the new schedule start all over again.

    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 10:20 AM on Sep. 3, 2011

  • Thanks Alanaplus3, yes he has only been in this school for 2 days so it may be just a matter of him transitioning from his summer routine to his school routine and getting used to the new school but of course I still worry that he won't.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:26 AM on Sep. 3, 2011

  • I'm not accusing you of anything. I have worked with many autistic children and know how they handle the special needs kids at my particular school. The point I was trying to get across was, without any real evidence of child abuse or neglect, I have no idea why school staff would report you to CPS. Given the fact they know your child has autism, I find it strange that they are not more sensitive to his special needs. But, based on what you are saying are they going to call CPS and say, "We would like to report child X because he has autism!" That makes no sense to me. In your original post you said your friend told you CPS might force you to put him in a group home????? Your son must have a VERY severe case of autism. Your son is such a severe case that the government is going to TAKE him away from against your will, but he's in a mainstream school right now, that does not add up. I do wish you good luck...
    albionel

    Answer by albionel at 10:34 AM on Sep. 3, 2011

  • Join some of the autistic support groups on this site and talk to DHS yourself. See if your son qualifies for a caseworker that will help you find him a counselor and a school that is better equipped to help him. The school year is going to be horrible for your son as well as you if they think he should be adjusted in 2 days. My kids do not have autism and after 3 weeks they are still not adjusted. This school does not seem like a healthy place for your child. There are schools in some areas just for autistic kids. They are great. My friends child is thriving. He is learning so much more than he ever learned in the public school and they understand him. I know some mothers with autistic children do not like to look into those schools because of how they wish to deal with it, but they do learn things they are doing more projects at that school than my kids get to do.

    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 10:43 AM on Sep. 3, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.