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I need help, advice about my daughter..please!!

I have a 16 year old daughter. she has done alot of things behind my back by hanging with the wrong people..and we are getting past that now. I have had her call me or text me every 2 hours to make sure she is okay. Then she is home at a pacific time. Now, she says she is embarrassed to call me every 2 hours when she is with her friends. Now, she wants to call me sometime during the day to let me know she is okay. I told her when she goes to the bathroom...and give me a quick call while she is in the bathroom...so she wont get embarrassed and i can know she is safe. She complains i call her way too much. Is this unreasonable? No bashing...just advice please!

 
Sassywidow72

Asked by Sassywidow72 at 10:34 PM on Dec. 29, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (20)
  • Does she have text on her phone? If so, maybe you guys can text back and forth instead of a verbal phone call every two hours.


    I'm undecided really about your question concerning if it's excessive. Do you have a reason to not trust her? If so, then I would do whatever I feel necessary to keep in contact with my child.


    If you can trust her then you might try spacing the calls out. If she's out all day then I agree that more than one call is needed. If she's only out for a few hours then maybe just one call when she gets to where she's going and then one call when she's heading back home.


    I think every parent has to gauge their decisions on each child.

    Southerncharmes

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 10:39 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Do you have a cell phone? If so, have her text you. It is discreet and less embarrassing for a teen to have to call mommy all the time.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 10:36 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • yes we have cell phones. She is still complaining to stop what she is doing and text me.
    Sassywidow72

    Answer by Sassywidow72 at 10:40 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • listen my girls are 13 yrs and 12 yrs and is now and i don't let them go no where,so i imagine when they get that age,i won't let them hang out alot,and i have to know where they at and with who and they have to call me every little while and they have to be with a grow up person if they going some where,that is the way i'm, my daughters are to smart to get lost in life,and i always talk to them about what i did and i went through,so they know not to do something stupid.
    stressoutmomof4

    Answer by stressoutmomof4 at 10:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • You are just being a mother. The only thing I can say is talk to her as far as whenever you hear on the news how this teenager and that teenager was in an accident and won't be coming home maybe that will catch her attention. Just an example on the news the other day here In Houston, Tx. a 16 yearold boy made a wrong turn and caused another truck to slam into a concrete wall and guess who was in the truck a 16  & 21 yr. old girls, a 15 & 17 year old boys. All were pronounced dead. And the 16 yr. old is in the hospital recovering. Just give your child examples no matter how careful we want to be we can not be with them all of the time for them. GLteen girl

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Here's the thing, this is a lesson for her about what happens when u break someones trust. Just because u have forgiven her doesn't mean thre are not continuing consequences. for example:you kill someone, the victims family forgives u but u still have to face what u did, u still have a punishment.Make sense? her embarassment is little compared to what u could be having her do-like stay home all the time, lose all privledges.And I bet when she first got into trouble she agreed to everything right? and now some time has passed and she is testing... I think u should stand your ground for awhile longer.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I don't think its unreasonable, because now I'm a mom and I know you are doing this out of love!
    If I was 16 though I would think you were out of your mind!! I think the text message idea is good! I would also probably back off a bit and let her be a teen maybe only check in 1-2 times every time she goes out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • Has she done anything to break your trust with her? Every two hours seems alittle too much, but I don't know the situation. I agree with everyone else on the texting thing. It's alittle more discreet. You could try compromising with her like every three hours and if that goes ok for a couple of weeks then every four hours and so on
    luvsgriffin

    Answer by luvsgriffin at 10:44 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • I guess you know your child best. to me, every 2 hours seems like a lot. Would it work for her to tell you where she is and when she plans to be home... checking in maybe once every 4 hours if she is there for a long time... and if for any reason is running late coming home she has to tell you right away.

    But like the pp's said, I would have her test you....
    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 10:45 PM on Dec. 29, 2008

  • No your not being too unreasonable!
    It's not hard for her to at least text you & for her to tell you she's okay.
    Teens are always on their cell phones.
    But if she does this for like a month or so then on time
    & everything then i would suggest you giving her a little leeway.
    about ever 5 hours or so she calls you to let you know how shes doing.
    & yea if she running late, she needs to let you know if at all possible.

    but i think ill understand me when my child is a teen, but i have a while.
    but good luck.

    bekahbaby35

    Answer by bekahbaby35 at 12:16 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

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