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How do I get my 5 year old to stop pooping in his pants?

He says he can't tell he has to go until it starts to come out. Doc says it's behavior issue and it happens at school sometimes too

 
Galdarisimom

Asked by Galdarisimom at 1:40 AM on Dec. 30, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Maybe get a second medical opinion? My nephew has a similar problem and they thought it was behavior also. Turns out its something in his bowel muscles - he is on a special diet, and he does much better if he watches what he eats.

    My heart goes out to you and your son, it could be emotional but either way I know its difficult for both of you. I definitely would not beat his ass for it. Poor baby. The humiliation I think is punishment enough, and I do agree with him having to help clean up the mess.
    DanaSkullery

    Answer by DanaSkullery at 12:03 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • gosh this is tough...I say when he is home track when he has to go, is it when he eats, certain times, when he is nervous? go to another doc, a gastro guy. I'm not knockin your doc but honestly what mkes a kid WANT to poop in his pants at 5? it could be behavioral but I ain't buying it. If it turns out it is...my only thought is at 5 he can clean himself up. He may pay attention to the urges more if he knows he has to clean up himself and clothing. good luck...sorry i couldn't help more.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 1:50 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I hope you don't think this is mean, but, if he does it again, make HIM clean up after himself and help you with the clothes. It may be one way of helping him learn to go when he has the urge.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Thank you for posting this! I have the same problem daily with my 6 year old. The peditritian also told us it is not medical. I thought about posting this same question here on Cafe mom but didn't get up the nerve to do it. I was afraid that some replies would be critical instead of helpful.
    She does have to clean herself up and change her clothes. She insists she just didn't know she had to go. I am not convinced that it isn't something medical, maybe the doc's just don't know.
    AprilD32

    Answer by AprilD32 at 10:58 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • by the way, niether punishments nor rewards have had any effect. Embaressment is a natural consequence and that has not made it stop happening. She is a very intelligent child, VERY intelligent. Normally healthy in every other way. She is not a bad kid, not a dirty kid, not a neglected kid, or an autistic kid, or anything. She is an otherwise normal, healthy kid. So it is a huge mystery and a source of frustration. I wonder if it really is a medical problem that medical science has yet to identify?
    AprilD32

    Answer by AprilD32 at 12:11 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Got back from the doctor again and he said that it might be anxiety related. He suggests that I start talking to him more. Like I don't already do that. Arrgggh...some doctors are so not helpful. Thanks for the help. I already make him help me clean up the mess and help with the clothes. Hubby thinks he just holds it in for too long cause it might hurt when he goes and then his body takes over and he just goes. Don't know what to do about that either. Sigh.
    Galdarisimom

    Answer by Galdarisimom at 12:22 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • My almost-5YO daughter just stopped doing this. She knew when she had to go, but didn't want to be bothered to stop playing. What we did was a two-fold plan: first, we would make her go sit on the potty & stay on it till she pooped, no matter how long it took; second (when she kept pooping her panties at school), I took my mother's advice & made Brianna clean out her own panties (I would flush what I could first of course). It only took two times of cleaning out her own undies for her to stop pooping her pants! That was about 1-2 months ago, & she's been accident-free ever since!! Good luck, and Happy New Year!!!
    fosternpa

    Answer by fosternpa at 7:30 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Show him how to change his cloths, wash up, and put the dirty ones in the laundry or in a bucket filled with water, detergent and a lil bleach. Give them full accountability.
    lilmami81

    Answer by lilmami81 at 7:52 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • NOT TO BE TOO MEAN BEAT HIS/HER ASS THATS HOW I DID MY KIDS, ONCE THEY GOT TIRED OF GETTING THEY ASS BEAT THEY STARTED GOING TO THE BATHROOM ARE TOLD ME THEY HAVE TO GO. DONT TAKE THIS ANSWER THE WRONG WAY I'M JUST BEING ME SORRY
    HONEYLOVER

    Answer by HONEYLOVER at 9:14 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • It's good to know my 6yo son isn't alone! Yes, it is very frusterating!! But how mad can one get if the child insists they cant 'feel' when its time?!!! I can usually tell by lookin at him if he has to go but unfortunantly I am the only one in his life to sucsessfully master this skill... Im still lookin for the right solution too. Good luck!
    jolze

    Answer by jolze at 9:47 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

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