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Any one else, in a relationship, but going thru pregnancy alone, b/c partner "cannot deal"?

My so is easily overwhelmed and the baby isn't even here yet-I've pretty much gone thru everything alone. The tests, the worry, the medications, the planning, even having to set up back-up labor partners. I love him, he loves me-but he's dropping the ball on this one big time. anyone else going/gone thru this? I feel like I am stuck in the 1950's where I go into have a baby and he smokes cigars and presto-baby.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:24 AM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I don't blame you. Sometimes pregnancy is more reality than some people can handle, and, of course, what's done is done. I know it's so hard not getting support from the one person you need most. How far long are you? Hopefully, he will come around sooner rather than later, so he can experience the joys with you and really enjoy them. Plus, the stress is not good for you or the baby. I know when the whole thing happened with my hubby, I did everything I could not to let the stress get to me, for the sake of my son.

    Answer by musicpisces at 4:45 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Oh, honey, that's so hard! Just when you need the support. Have you tried talking to him? Was this planned?
    My hubby checked out to some degree while I was pregnant. He lost his job when I was 14 weeks pregnant, and I spent my whole pregnancy trying to soothe him and keep him from getting too depressed. So much for the pampering I had been hoping for.
    Hang in there, and keep supportive people around you where you find them. Good luck! =)

    Answer by musicpisces at 4:36 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • ty..yep it was planned and yep tried talking til I want to cry, and I do. he is in a space where he feels he cannot connect to me at all-not what i signed up for and I am hoping that keeping other supportive people around is enough. right now...sadly...I kinda hate him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • i do im 21 weeks and dealing with the pregnancy by myself. my bf dpnt seem to care. the last 5 months i have been pregnant by myself. now surviving low amniotic fluid and it still low it suck with no support but i have god and my family helping me.

    Answer by Katiebears89 at 5:32 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • my husbands such an ass this time around that he wont even let me lay down to rest..he just thinks its an excuse becuase i like napping all the time even when im not preggo. i guess thats just what happens when you already have 2 babies! but i do understand why he hasnt gone to any of my appointments..has to stay w kids while i go..he did go to the ultra sound..and he Sucks ass when it comes to being labor coach in the he doesn tknow what to do.

    Answer by tnteaton at 5:39 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • my husband used to go with me to the appoitments but was always moody and then he would put me in a bad mood, so eventually i just told my mom to take me to the doc insetead then i would just tell him about worked better cause i was not as stressed out thinking of how to keep him happy when he wouldnt even try for me. then when i had the baby he didnt want to help me and if he did he always had an attitude. it took him a long time to accept the fact he is a dad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • That sucks, but, at least he is still there. My husband wanted me to get preg again so badly that he sabotaged my BC and then when I was 4 months preg he walked out and left me alone with a 18 month old. And now he is living with his gf. so, at least yours is still technically there:)

    Answer by noah_n_mommy07 at 8:31 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • When I was pregnant with my first child my first husband dropped me off at his mother's house in NJ and went off to live in CT because he got a job there. He sent some money now and then, called occasionally (no love at all), and never visited. His overpowering mother planned everything for me and became my labor coach. But no one would touch me to feel the baby move or go in with me to hear the baby's heartbeat. I was alone in that aspect. When I was induced my MIL stayed during the day and came back the next morning with donuts and coffe, which I couldn't have, duh! My husband finally showed up for my daughter's baptism when she was 3 months old and didn't even know how to hold her. Once he held her for pictures he passed her off to someone else.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 11:20 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I'm 21 wks as well-ty for the support ladies, once again-ya'll saved my sanity by reminding me I am not alone.(hugs)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Dec. 30, 2008