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How should I handle the problem my mom has created with DH?

The other night my mom was over. DH & I wanted to go to the store. The boys wanted to stay home so my mom agreed to stay. We were getting ready & DH asked my son to go check something on the computer.

I did not hear this but it is what DH said my mom. I have no reason to think he added anything but OMG why would she say this to my kids. This is paraphrased from what he told me.

My son: Need to check Daddy's scores.
My mom: I am doing my game
My son: Daddy told me to check it
My mom: Well I am in charge I trump your dad.

DH said if my son wasn't there he would have gone off. Now I have no idea what to say to her. Why on earth would she be stupid enough to make a comment like that.

I have no idea whether to call her at work or find a polite way to say not to come over until I am home and talk with her then. What do I even say because this pisses me off she would say this.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:50 AM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Wow I dont know how to tell you how to handle it but ur momma was way outta line!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 5:59 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Why don't you just ask her in a way as not to start an argument, like, Such and such said you said this to them and I find that hard to lbelieve, mom, can you tell me what was said.If she admits to saying it, ask her why, and go from there.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:27 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I wouldn't be too angry with her. I would talk to her and let her know that when it comes to HIS children, she will never "trump" him. My parents are bad about forgetting who the parents are and taking role as grandparents. I don't get angry with them, because I can see how it would be difficult, but they do need to know where they stand. Same goes for your momma! Good luck.
    LilMae.N.MDJr

    Answer by LilMae.N.MDJr at 7:16 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • It's between her and your husband. She didn't want to get off the computer. Is sounded kind of rude to send your son in to just kick her off in the middle of the game. Dad couldn't wait for his scores?
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 7:45 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I got cut off...My mother is controlling and self centered. If that's the case, I understand your point. Even so, I leave my husband's battles for him to fight. He can handle my mother. Besides, if you weren't in the room, how can you really deal with it? Your husband can talk to her after the fact, when he is calm. There seems to be more to the story.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 7:47 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • If you were just running to the store, then why the hurry on checking the score? And it is rude to interupt someone while they're in a game, but what she said was wrong. We don't "trump" each other at my house. In a joking way it might've worked but to a child it was wrong to say I think.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:59 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Truthfully, this is not yours to settle. Your husband is the one who heard her say it. She said it about him to his child. He should handle this himself. You should not put yourself in the middle of their squabble.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:00 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I wouldn't think this would matter at all. Your husband has no idea what context it was said in. NOW if she said something to his face, yeah, he should stand up for himself and YOU should back him up. But she could have meant, that she was watching them right then or something to that effect. IF you make a big deal of this right now, it's gonna make your husband look insecure, kwim?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • My husband offered to settle it. He plans to tell her things that would likely end her in a mental institution. He would not let up and is likely to slap her if she went at him.

    The thing is made about the computer is that she comes over just to use our internet. It actually bothers me too. She will act like it is her house. That is why he is getting upset. As for the scores heck I wanted to know them because it was to find out if he won $150 or $200. Which he ended up winning $200.

    Talking more with DH apparently she has been coming over when DH on the computer going to the TV changing the channel when DS is watching sports and saying that she is in control.

    I am handling it also because it is an agreement we had early in our marriage (over 13 years) that he would deal with his parents and I would deal with mine.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I would just ask her flat out if she said it and if she said she did then I would deal with it.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 9:27 AM on Dec. 30, 2008

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