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6 Bumps

Is confused and I need advice from people who have been through this before??!!

My daughters dad and I are not together. She is 4 and he just became active in her life these last 2 mths. Hes taken her maybe 4 times at the most. Me and him just recently had a little spat. Nothing big or about her. He just didnt like an "attitude" I supposebly had. Now hes argueing about our past relationship we had, which we were only together for 2 mths. Hes wanting to take her for awhile, for the school year. And I will be real heart broken and sad about it, because its always been me and her. I'm just wondering if maybe its his time to have with her, or if maybe she should stay with me and just let him keep visiting????? He does live on the reservation. And i've been told that he could get full custody of her there. thats what worryies me.

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Desperate86

Asked by Desperate86 at 4:10 PM on Sep. 4, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 5 (99 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • i think if she always lived with you and there no reasons for your to give up custody then no as i don't feel its good for a child attachment and self of worth . i understand he wants more time with her but children need to know where there home is and where they live maybe you could do more weekends with her bad

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Sep. 4, 2011

  • My feeling is, you should not give your little girl to her dad - let him visit.
    No matter what we respond to you, you must URGENTLY consult an Attorney in order to defend your case.
    lillyblue111

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 4:19 PM on Sep. 4, 2011

  • You must be aware of the legal ramifications if he removes your child from your legal custody. BEWARE. I would not allow it. Offer him frequent visitation in your neighborhood.
    disturbed99

    Answer by disturbed99 at 4:25 PM on Sep. 4, 2011

  • If your four year old daughter has always been in your custody, I do suggest that you keep it that way. Allowing your daughter to stay with him during the school year will give him more legal rights. I believe then you will have a custody battle to deal with. If he has not been a presence in her life up until two months ago and now suddenly wants additional time, there is probably a motive there. He will probably begin a custody battle. I agree with coming up with an amicable and reasonable visitation plan so that he can be a part of her life, but not residential custodian. If your daughter has always been with you, try to keep it that way. I do agree that you should consult an attorney and possibly a mediator to come up with a parenting schedule that gives him some visitation only that is on your terms. You can not alienate your daughter from her father, but you can look out for her best interests.
    disturbed99

    Answer by disturbed99 at 4:34 PM on Sep. 4, 2011

  • Like some have said... He doesn't have the right to just come and start calling the shots. I think that him comin to visit is the better thing for now.. And if he shows he might stick around then over time her should get more time.. But it's not far that you should have to just give her to him when he chooses to come around.
    Beccamama

    Answer by Beccamama at 4:45 PM on Sep. 4, 2011

  • If you have been raising her then continue to do so. Moving kids around is not good for them especially when you are taking about a man who has only been in her life the past few months. He cannot just take her. He has to go to court and petition the courts for custody. At most he would get visits. If he lives close maybe shared custody. Shared custody is one week on and one week off with each parent. You can always suggest something like that.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:47 PM on Sep. 4, 2011

  • I'd establish custody with the courts for supervised visitation
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:54 PM on Sep. 4, 2011

  • Do NOT let him take her. Get a lawyer, NOW. You can't just send her off with him. she doesn't know him. He is a stranger. Get a lawyer and set up a schedule.
    Saya

    Answer by Saya at 7:42 PM on Sep. 4, 2011

  • I'm wondering why he all of a sudden has such an interest in her????? She MUST stay in your custody and he can come to visit. He is a stranger and it would be very foolish to just let her go with him. Something seems fishy about this - beware.

    banana-bear

    Answer by banana-bear at 12:19 AM on Sep. 5, 2011

  • I retract my concern. Which is true? Has he only seen her for 4 times and y'all were only together for 2 months? Or have y'all been off and on for years, enough to have another child together?

    banana-bear

    Answer by banana-bear at 12:24 AM on Sep. 5, 2011

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