Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should my husband and I adopt his daughter's baby when he/she is born?

My step daughter is 25 and doesn't feel able to take care of a baby. My husband and I are in our late 40's and we are thinking about adopting the baby when he/she is born. I never had a child and my husband and his ex wife raised two daughters. I would appreciate any thoughts the mom's on this site have on this and if there's anyone that has done something similar please let me know.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Adoption

Answers (16)
  • i think it would be in the babies best interest to stay in the family that way you know it will be taken care of properly
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 12:02 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Is the step daughter ok with you adopting it? If she is then go for it. If you guys are fiancially stable and all.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 12:04 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • If you two are healthy,and financially ,and both of you are in agreement in adopting this baby.hen yes I would,there is no way I would let my grandchild go with anyone outside the family,if I am able to take on the responsibility.How does she feel about you two adopting her baby? Good luck to all of you,no matter what you all choose. God Bless. Just remember this baby is your husbands flesh and blood.
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 12:06 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I agree that this could be a wonderful thing - the baby would be able to be adopted by stable loving parents and still be able to stay in his/her family of origin.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 12:29 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I think it would be good for all the reasons above if you both really want to raise a child together, and if you are pretty certain that she won't change her mind and battle you for custody later.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:10 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I'm 45 & my husband is 46. We are currently in the process of adopting our grandson (2) and more then likely our grandaughter (6 months). It is either we adopt or they are adopted by strangers. I'm not losing my grandchildren to strangers. I say go for it. It does keep you active and on the go. Just be prepared for some shocks to come your way. The one were you're sitting at a neices freshman basketball game and all of a sudden it dawns on you that in a few years that could be your child out there playing and you'll have many more years of it to come.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 1:51 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • How do you feel about it? Do you feel, think, and want to raise an infant to adulthood? Can you see yourself enjoying parenthood? Do you want to do this equally as much as your husband? If you can see yourself raising a baby to adulthood, what role would your step-daughter have in this child's life? There are so many things to think about. My suggestion: perhaps a few sessions with a private therapist with you and your husband. It will be well worth the money. You can sort through your thoughts, feelings, wants and also your husband's. Then even come up with a plan with how to procede. So many things come into play. Including what type of relationship does your husband have with his daughter? I can't even begin to say there are so many specific issues to cover. cont....

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:59 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • cont...But if you really want to do this then there is nothing wrong with it. An honest and open discussion with your husband about your hopes, wishes, wants, fears, and concerns with your husband is the most important start. Then the two of you doing it again with your husband's daughter would be the next step. After that....hiring an attorney to do the adoption proceedings. The sooner the better.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:05 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I would love to talk email me

    hopingforanange

    Answer by hopingforanange at 9:45 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I see nothing wrong with it if it's what SHE wants to do. Are you sure this is what she really wants?
    lillie023

    Answer by lillie023 at 10:54 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.