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boyfriends mother...HELP

OK so my boyfriends mom does not like me. Whenever she comes to the house she ignores me and just makes rude comments. My boyfriend just moved in a few weeks ago and he brought his dog...everytime she comes she acts like im not taking care of the dog and just makes rude comments, like yesterday she was like" you know you chose to live here (meaning my boyfriend), the dog didn't"..just things like that
Also whenever i talk to her on the phone she always talks about me and my boyfriend not working out...ive tried to ignore it but it's really starting to get on my nerves.

idk how to handle it...if i should talk to my boyfriend about it or if he'd just get mad or should i try talking to her about it? any advice would be helpful!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • ya know,,ignore her ,,otherwise this will drive u nuts throughout the whole relationship..i broke all ties and it is so much easier
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I really would love to say just put the *B* in her place, but unfortunalty I thikn if you did that your BF would get pissed, so you need to tell him how you feel, what she is doing, and that you DO NOT appreciate it at all, make sure to also tell him he needs to speak with her and get her to stop. Let him be the one to put her in her place!
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 2:33 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • KINDNESS! Be so sweet and kind to her (almost to the point that you will want to puke) that she will not know what to think! If she continues with the nasty remarks, it will only make her look like a terrible person.
    rcbrown

    Answer by rcbrown at 2:35 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Don't let it get to you. If you and your BF are happy, then don't pay any attention to her snide remarks. She may just be a little jealous that he moved in with you. Maybe she will warm up to you later. You should definitely talk to your BF about it. Make it a question to him "does she like me?" rather than an accusation. And ask him what you can do to get on her better side. You don't have to kiss her ass, but be nice and try to make peace with her, especially if they are close. Better for everyone.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 2:45 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • You could give a try to talking to her. I would say, "You seem to be unhappy about (his name) moving in with me." See what she says. If she goes on about how unhappy she is I would get my confidence up and say, "Even if you don't like his choices, this is my home and I would like you to keep your negative comments to yourself." If she denies it, you still can say, "I would appreciate it if you wouldn't make negative comments while you are here though". I am not sure those comments are about you. She may just be unhappy to lose the son, the dog or both. I wouldn't even ask her if she likes you. It isn't worth caring about. You will still need to be assertive about he keeping the negativity out of your home.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 2:46 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • there are different ways to go about this. first off is with niceness. just start acting really really sweet to her. saying yes ma'am and no ma'am and all that jazz and see how long it takes her to catch on. once she does she will change her tune. or the mean way. get all three of you together and confront her actions and ask her to explain why she is acting that way. odds are it's cause she is worried her 'baby' will get hurt by a 'girl'.
    cnelson82

    Answer by cnelson82 at 3:02 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Tell your BF that she's not allowed in your house if she can't play nice. There's no reason she can't just keep her mouth shut. Do you ever go to her house and make rude comments?

    If she's set on not liking you, there isn't much you can do. So, just do what you need to do and ignore her. As long as you and your BF aren't suffering as a couple because of her intrusion, things should smooth out.

    And as far as the dog goes...WTH? I mean...why is she being protective of the dog? Lol. It's obvious when dogs are unhappy and if she's the only one whos said anything then don't worry.

    ...But you should be able to talk to your BF. Tell him you don't understand why his mother doesn't like you and you'd like to know if there's something you've done. Just be careful, don't make it sound like "Why the hell is yo momma such a bitch!?" Anyone and everyone will get defensive over their mother, lol.
    madamekatekate

    Answer by madamekatekate at 3:14 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • If her behavior is allowed to continue, she'll never change. If you BF needs to be aware of this, talk to him and ask him to talk to her. She may not like you but, she should mind her manners in your home and he should want the same.
    I get along well with my MIL but when my (now DH) and I were at her home once just after we were engaged, my MIL introduced me to a family member as my DH's "friend". I was completely offended and felt like some cheap date from the night before. My DH asked her right then and there why she did that and that she was never to refer to me in that way again. Your man should come to your defense when you are being treated wrong - no matter who is doing it. We'll be married 10 years this year and I have never once felt like my DH didn't have my back in a situation like that. Good luck.
    VirgoMom807

    Answer by VirgoMom807 at 3:53 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I be nice to my mil to pisss her off good luck. SHe will prob always be mean.
    seasnakesc

    Answer by seasnakesc at 9:55 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

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