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What should I do?

I have was in a relationship for 4yrs and u recently split. When we was together we split all the bills. I few days ago I lost my parttime job and I have been looking for full time work for the past 3months but have been unsuccessful.My best friend of 12yrs said me and son can stay with her for a whilebut the problem is my babys father says if I leave state he will call the police & say I kidnapped are son..He currently does not have a job and is leaving wit friends..I currently have $800 to my name so if I stay it will go toward rent&car but if I leave it will kinda be 4 a new start..i decieded to ask my fellow cafemamas because i am unsure what to do also if I leave wit my son can I get in trouble for taking him even if his dad is unstable? I am also kinda scared that if I stay wat will happen next month if I cant find a job? Please give me your opnion

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • you can go their is nothing he can do and take his ass to child support make him help

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • That is not true, you can not leave the state.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • do whats best for you and your child , you probably already know what that is just trust your instincts.... good luck and let us know what you decide
    MarksGurl

    Answer by MarksGurl at 2:39 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • He doesn't have a job and neither do you. But the fact is he is the father of your child. So you two are no longer together. He has every right to go to the police and say you left the state. You have no right leaving the state with his and your child.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:41 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • It depends on the state in which you live. Here in Oklahoma as long as there are no court orders in effect each parent has as much right to the child as the other. You could leave the state with him and there is nothing your ex could do about it. Also, I know in a few other states that if the child is born out of wedlock then custody is automatically granted to the mother. I would suggest calling a lawyer and asking about the law in your state. If there is a court order in effect then you must abide by it or petition the court to allow you to relocate with your child.
    tagable

    Answer by tagable at 2:44 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • It all depends on the state, but in your case because there are no court papers yet I dont think there is much he can do, call the police department and ask them, but I am pretty sure you can just leave
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 2:47 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Right, you can't leave the state. He does have rights. But you should firmly ask him what are you supposed to do!? Is he going to provide a home for you and the baby? Talk to him rationally and discuss a "plan". Is this going to be a temporary thing to save money, and then come back? Try to convince him that it's the only sensible way at the moment. You're not trying to take his child away from him, but you've gotta think about what's best for you and the baby right now.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 2:54 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Answered at 1:41 PM on Dec. 30, 2008 by: Dannee
    He doesn't have a job and neither do you. But the fact is he is the father of your child. So you two are no longer together. He has every right to go to the police and say you left the state. You have no right leaving the state with his and your child.

    She said he is already leaving the state with friends so if he can go why can't she. He doesn't seem all that worried about him child to me.

    Just check with the police or an attorney, they will tell you if it is legal or not. I would believe with no court orders in place that you can leave and there is nothing he can do about it.
    tagable

    Answer by tagable at 2:55 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • The state you live in,if your child has been there for 6 or more months has jurisdiction..
    I would seek outside help..They state you reside in now is your childs homestate.
    Which means that if he does do anything you will have to go back to the state your boyfriend lives in should there be any court orders.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I read that as living with friends...sorry ...the bottom line is he is the father.
    She has no right leaving that state...If he has nothing to do with the child then that is another story.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:57 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

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