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I want 3... he wants 2.. how do i make him see it my way??

I want 3 kids so so badly but he said that the middle one would be leftout so he only wants 2... is there any one out there that can think of a good argument that i can put out there... like not a full blown argument but some good points to having 3 kids and why it may be nice. Please Please help.

Thanks ladies <3

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Dec. 30, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • oooh i don't know i told my hubby early on i wanted 5 kids and he was fine with it.. obviously you can't go back and change it but just keep telling him you want another one... and it means alot to you! i don't know?? good luck
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 2:56 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I originally wanted 5 too but i dropped it to 3 and he still wont budge. It means so much to me and i dont know what to do... I have wanted to have a lot of kids since i was 6 and now he kinda shattered my dreams off ever doing that but i love him so much and want him to be happy as well. Please if you have any advice i need it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • From your post it doesn't sound like you have two kids yet, so I would wait until you have two and then start arguing about a third. If you have two already, then, I'm not really sure what to say. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • If you feel you have to make an argument...it's not going to be healthy for your relationship. That is not the way to go about it.

    I have three. All close in age. (oldest to youngest is 33 months difference)

    Our situation is a bit different in that the middle one gets lumped in with the youngest most of the time. (11 month difference) He is now 3 and just now is able to do some of the stuff his big brother does. I can't really think of any area where he gets "left out" of anything. They all get to make choices...and I rotate the order of the choosing so none of them gets to always be the first to chose.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 3:10 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • once you have one, whats 2 more? the middle one wont be left out unless you/him leave him out.
    jbirchard

    Answer by jbirchard at 3:13 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • While dating, my husband made it clear that he wanted NO children. I wanted Lot'sof babies..I WAS YOUNG. Once our first daughter was born, my husband fell in love with being a daddy now we are proud parents of four. After our second daughter wanted no more 11 years later oops I had twin boys Imagine having as 18, 15 and twin 4 year old . Both my husband and I are in heaven..This January will make 21 years of us being married.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 3:46 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Did the two of you talk about this BEFORE marriage? Did either of you change their minds?

    Can't help you with your argument...my husband's family is living proof that your husband is right. **smile**
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:49 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • You can't "make" him see it your way... not any more than he can "make" you see it his way.

    What can you do to try to change his mind?
    Live your life, love your kids, have a happy family, enjoy each other as much as possible no matter how many of you there are. As the younger one gets older, he may change his mind.
    What's the worst thing you can do?
    Keep harping on it. The more you try to make him change his mind, the more he will dig in his heels. He is right - the middle child is frequently left out... not the celebrated oldest child... not the beloved baby... just the "other" child. Not all families end up that way but enough do to make the stereotype viable.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 4:29 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • We have three and there have been a few times when I've mentioned to him about wanting one more, but it was a mutual decision to stop at three. IDRK what to tell you, sorry.

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 4:39 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • You cannot make him see it your way. It has to be right for both of you. He may change his mind in time but if he doesn't be happy with the children you have. My husband did not want more than three children. Our third pregnancy I found out I was having twins. He was over the moon and in time changed his mind. We are having our 8th baby right now and plan on having more if possible. He has to change his mind on his own. Have four kids that way there is never a middle child.lol

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

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