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I need advice for fighting sisters!!!

My 9 & 11 year old girls are fighting so much, I don't know what to do anymore. They act like they hate each other which breaks my heart. They do have good moments, but the fighting and being mean to each other keeps getting worse. I know they are even arguing on the bus to school. Any advice on how to handle this fairly??

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zetta816

Asked by zetta816 at 8:27 AM on Sep. 7, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Separate them at home. Put them in separate rooms, and tell them they are not allowed to even speak to each other. If they really need to know something, they must ask you and you will find out. You can't stop them from arguing when they are away from you, but you can certainly put a stop to it at home. If they violate the no-speaking to each other rule, then start taking away their stuff. That's a very legitimate thing to do because their real crime in speaking when they've been told not to is disobedience and disrespect for you and your instructions. So lay down the law and enforce it!!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:32 AM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • My older 2 boys are only 15 months apart and started "hating" each other when they were tweens. It was more of an identity situation in my eyes. They did not want to be the same as each other or related as the same by friends, teachers and other adults. That has lasted many many years. They are now 18 & 19 and my 18 yr old called his brother on his birthday to tell him he was not invited to his party. That caused a lot of hurt feelings for my 19 yr old.
    One thing though I have noticed even though the say they cant stand each other, when push comes to shove and someone is messing with one or the other they do stand up for each other. That gives me some hope they will be able to resolve their issues as they get older. I wish I had some advice. I just try to act as the mediator with mine and tell them what I expect from them in my presence.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:32 AM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • Honestly, there's nothing you can do that won't make it worse. The more you get into it, the more one or the other will take that as a sign you like the other more and that will cause even more problems. I have 6 girls ranging in age from 22 to 2 and I can tell you from experience that it will pass. They will always fight and argue. Sometimes you just have to let them deal with it. Now if it comes down to them actually wanting to fist fight in front of you, ask them which one is going to fight you first. It works, believe me. Make them do something as a team and what them like a hawk the whole time, but from a distance. The worst two I have are my 18 and 12 year olds. They do have serious issues with each other and there's nothing I can do about it except let them work it out on their own.
    Good luck and let me know if any of this helped you !!
    6GsMommy

    Answer by 6GsMommy at 8:33 AM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • My brother and I fought bad. My parents decided if they heard us fight then we had to "kiss and make up" .. ewww we still fought but my parents never heard it or knew about it after that rule.
    tiredmama42

    Answer by tiredmama42 at 8:35 AM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • My dad locked my sisters in their room together once. They just would not stop fighting! A few hours later he opened the door and they were sitting together looking at a magazine.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 8:36 AM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • When mine fight they have to sit across from each other holding hands & telle ach other their good qualities & what they love about one another. But in all honesty to make things better between them we are splitting them up this weekend. They each get their own bedrooms now. Im hoping it relieves some of the tension between them.
    Mrs_Harsh

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 8:40 AM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • seperate them when they start fighting.

    mine are 15 and 17 and still have to be seperated at times
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:49 AM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • Leave them alone, me and my sister fought all the time at that age, it's totally normal. We are absolute best friends now (I'm 27 she's 29) and have been since I graduated high school. It's the best relationship to have- you can hate each other and love each other every other day. They will work it out. We look back and laugh at it now, how we used to beat the crap out of each other. Sisterly love.
    Pamarita

    Answer by Pamarita at 9:23 AM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • Sisters have been fighting like this since the beginning of time, it is normal as long as you intervene and harp on the fact that they are blood relatives, and no physical harm is being done, emphasize on the family unit and the why behind their fighting being counter productive. My daughters were only a year apart, and they fought like cats and dogs, but when it came time to stand up for each other they did and as adults are the best of friends, they will be ok.

    older

    Answer by older at 12:43 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • My kids are 12 (son) and 16 (daughter). They fight quite a bit too. Everything he does irriates her. I am really sick of it. But I think back to me and my brother. We are 18 months apart in age. We went to the same high school for two years together and we would pass each other in the halls and not speak. Only the people that grew up with us or from our neighborhood knew we were siblings. It will get better, over time.
    MsRickie

    Answer by MsRickie at 4:23 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

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