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how do you get over someone you have a child with

my situation is one that i can not comprehend, i have a 6 month old daughter with a man who has been emotionally and verbally abusive after about a month after meeting him, he bashed my beliefs and despised everything i stood for, constantly begged me for money and wasnt there for doc appt ect, only at the birth and two weeks after. his mom told me he had a mental problem anyway you would think that i would be relieved that he wasnt around, and i am. however i still find myself being sad at times and wanting him to be around. ps. check out my myspace type in where you search for friends

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Asked by themommy160 at 3:07 PM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • What kind of mental problem? These are things you should be told about before you start having a family with someone (not bashing you, but he should've been upfront with that information).
    It's hard to love someone even when you don't like them and it happens every day with all types of relationships. Look back and see the wonderful parts of him and leave the rest behind and be happy that he gave you the beautiful gift of a child and realize it is what it is and you can't make someone be what you want unfortunately and when you're used to someone being around even when they're not what you want, it's lonely when they're not. Find some hobbies, do some reading, find something constructive to occupy yourself and hopefully in no time you'll be used to him not being around anymore.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:24 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I'm not in your situation so i dont know. However, he seem like a useless so you and your daughter are better off without him. Do you want him around for you or for your daughters shake?

    Answer by aznblond9 at 3:24 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I would rather be a family, but I know that's not going to happen, I didn't mention he had a girlfriend I didn't know about, he now has another one and my gut is telling me she's pregnant he has an older daughter that I knew about by another woman and he won't even take my lil one so that her four year old sis can see her. So in essence these things keep me from ever wanting to have anything yo do with him. Ps. I think its borderline personality disorder

    Answer by themommy160 at 3:37 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Sounds like my ex, two kids here...another there.......... and one with me. Time will make it all better. You are lucky he isnt around, i cannot tell you how lucky you are cause mine still comes to see my little girl and i wished he didnt cause you never forget those good times and his face can be a reminder of them and although time has healed me up and made me better, there are still moments and parts of me that get angry and ticked off that he has easy street and i dont........ be eternally thankful you do not see him and dont look for him either.... Just giving advice which you need to be honest....

    Answer by helloistaken at 5:35 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • i know how you feel its been 2 years sense my babys father cheated and left us. i was recently looking through some old pictures and i found ones of me and him and him and my son. it did make me sad even though i do have a boyfriend now. i dnt miss the things he used to do to me. he was abusive like that too. but i do miss him. we had some good times together and i know i'll never have that back. hes changed and i have to accept that. it just takes time. its a painful process but it get better and less painful as time goes on. if you need someone to talk to message me or you can find me on myspace too....

    Answer by Chaney08 at 1:04 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • He comes around. But its infrequent, yeah I understand what you guys are saying. He's a habitual liar, so even though he could come see her more often he lies and says he has no car and better yet is in another town

    Answer by themommy160 at 5:59 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

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