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How would you feel?

Me and my SO live together and have a baby together, but are not married. We split bills straight down the middle from rent to the heat bill and everything in between. our biggest issue is money...we fight constantly over it because he makes atleast $1000 more a month than I do and I am struggling while he is out buying video games! What would you do? How would you feel??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (26)
  • I would be very annoyed. That is not fair and selfish of him. He should pay more because he makes more.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Well, who's idea is it to split everything? Either way, you kinda screwed yourself. Either you agreed to splitting or you allow it. I would suggest you either find a way to make more money so you can spoil yourself, find a new compromise, or find a new partner.

    gummiebear453

    Answer by gummiebear453 at 4:57 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I would say if he wants to make a go of things then its a partnership not anything else.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:02 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • It sounds like you both decided to handle things like you were roommates and that is what you are doing. You would not expect a roommate to pay more because you made less. If this is what you agreed to then let it be. If you are wanting more of a partnership were everything is shared talk to him about it and tell him how you feel without getting upset. I would look at the big picture though, you are not married and if he decided to leave you would get less assistance than what you are getting now.

    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 5:13 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Been there, done that.
    Now he takes care of me for the most part- pays the biggest bills, such as the mortgage, and I take care of utilities, although when I'm low on cash, he picks up the slack..
    And he's no longer allowed to buy himself toys without consulting me, seeing as I put so much of my own stuff on hold in order to provide for the kids..
    Works great- and not only do we now both get more things we want, but we have money saved!
    Liyoness

    Answer by Liyoness at 5:22 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Get married and put your money together.... that way his money is yours to. :o)
    AshJoe05

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 5:47 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • depends on how long you guys plan to be with eachother i mean if you were truly a family it shouldn't matter. it would be helpful for you to bring something in but if your struggling he should see that and put that extra money out there without even saying a word. money is always an issue no matter what in a relationship but he has to be understanding also
    lydiamama

    Answer by lydiamama at 6:07 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I would feel like I was getting the lousy end of the bargain...less money, no toys of my own, taking care of the baby, and no legal recourse for anything. Of course, if I was the dude, I would be pretty happy...got lots of money, lots of toys, no worries, and a woman at home to have sex with...and no legal ties to make me do the right thing. Wow...I can see why he wouldn't want to change that. Get married...should solve your problem.
    mizkaye

    Answer by mizkaye at 6:07 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • personally i think you guys are in this together, even if you are not married you have a child together and that should be enough, me and my live in boyfriend dont have any children together (i have 2 from a previous relationship) and he has asked that we split the bills (which i'm fine with) i'm very bad with money so i basically sign my checks over to him he makes sure all the bills get paid and he also makes sure i have anything i need or want as do my daughters (and trust me my checks DO NOT cover even my half of the bills) but he doesnt say a word about it, maybe what you need to do is move out and take his ass to court for child support once he HAS to start paying you then move back in and hand him back HIS money LMAO sorry but you do have legal recourse CHILD SUPPORT
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 6:15 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Getting married doesn't solve anything. If your whole reason to get married is that you're afraid he's going to leave you and you'll be stuck broke and taking care of the kids on your own, then you're not at a place for marriage. (Sounds like some of these posters aren't, either!).

    A stronger relationship will work the kinks out BEFORE making it legal..

    Your relationship is not any less just because you don't have a ring on your finger. You don't want your man to "do the right thing", you want him to love you and respect you.

    He's probably just hasn't thought for himself of what it takes to make the relationship run smoothly, financially- make a plan, and lay it out for him.
    Liyoness

    Answer by Liyoness at 6:15 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

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