Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Spin off from someone else's question.... and a can of worms too.

OK your baby is 8 months old. And you flat out cannot afford formula and for reasons unknown, you aren't nursing. Out of desperation and CERTAINLY against pediatricians orders you're forced to feed baby cows milk instead.

9 months ago when you were full term pregnant why did you choose to bring this child home when you knew you could not provide the basics for him/her?

If you were fullterm pregnant and FLAT BROKE would you hand the baby over to an adoptive family or would you take it home and pray a money tree grows in your backyard?

Answer Question

Asked by hibbingmom at 11:34 PM on Sep. 7, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 35 (71,876 Credits)
Answers (34)
  • So you are basically saying that if you are poor you shouldn't have children? There are ways to live on less. Just because a person is having hard times, doesn't mean she is a bad mother. Aside from that, you do not know her circumstances,and should not be so quick to judge.

    Answer by LadyIlanaWolfe at 11:38 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • If I was flat broke, I wouldn't be making a child. If I did, somehow, make a child, sounds like I would have 9 months to figure out how to afford the baby. It is personal accountability.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:39 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • I could never give my child up. I would fight tooth and nail to find a job to support the baby.

    Answer by mom2lyl at 11:39 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • There are resources for formula, so the question is pretty much base less. There is very very low chance of a baby going hungry in this country we have too many resources.

    I was flat broke when I gave birth to my son, then my money for school(living expenses) came in and I was fine(after a few days of having him) should I have not brought him home??

    There is Wic, Food banks, food stamps, Non-profits that provide formula etc.. No child will go hungry in this country if their parents seek out the support of these organizations.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 11:40 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • I agree with OP
    Sorry, in todays world with so many BC options, bringing a child up in poverty is selfish.

    Answer by BigMomm4 at 11:40 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • Being adopted out myself , I couldn't leave my own flesh and blood. I wouldn't plan a baby flat broke, but if I was..I'd do wahtever I could to provide for my child..I'm tlaking selling my clothes at playdough's closet, living in a homeless shelter, doing EVERYTHING to keeo my child okay. I'd go without eating or live on ramen noodle soup if I had to just to keeo my milk flowing, of course I'd be breastfeeding, too. If people take their pride down a notch there ARE shelters, centers, churches, pantry, I'd take adcantage of those without thought of "how embarressing" it'd be for my baby, it's not about me anymore..So unless the ENTIRE country went into some kind of famine or something, I don't see my child starving to death, so why give them up? So I CAN HAVE CLOTHES ON MY BACK AND EAT MYSELF? How selfish of me! It's about my baby now!

    Answer by Jeda624 at 11:40 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • not judging anyone. asking what others would do in that position.

    PERSONALLY I'd probably sign baby over to my mom (or MAYBE in laws) so that I could be in babies life. Or if that wasn't possible then a very open friendly adoption. I think about the 1st week expenses alone..... carseat, teeny baby diapers, sensitive wipes, etc and if those would be a struggle or impossible I would not want to try.

    Comment by hibbingmom (original poster) at 11:41 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • I agree. I do not believe she should just live off the system, without any plans to change. But sometimes the unexpected happens and people fall on hard times.

    Answer by LadyIlanaWolfe at 11:44 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • I make my own formula for times when I can't be here. And I have used both raw cows and raw goats milk to do it. For thousands of years children drank cows milk when mothers passed away or were unable to nurse. While cows milk doesn't have the nutrition that human milk does, which is why HM formula needs other things added, it's MUCH better than starvation!

    As for the "flat broke and pregnant" issue, I don't think adoption is always the best option. Children placed up for adoption are often placed in group homes or other programs where they are abused, neglected and unloved while they wait for adoption, IF it ever happens. I don't believe that's a better option than being with a loving parent, even if that parent is broke. There are lots of programs out there that will help, it may not be wonderful, but it's a better life than many alternatives.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:45 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

  • While I do see your point, it is very possible to do a lot on little now days.

    I had no buisness getting pregnant when I did and it was my own fault for it happening as I didn't prevent it.. But I did what I had to do to build a life for me and my son.

    While we did live on nearly nothing for a long time(and again recently thanks to the recession lol) he never went without anything he needed, I made sure of that. All my money went to baby first, then bills, and there was really never anything left over for myself.

    I did get help with formula at one point, because I was medically unable to breastfeed(I still remember crying the day I finally gave up because he was losing weight and down to 5lbs(was a very small baby to begin with)...I first got help from WIC, but they then started telling me that I was feeding him too much when I was following doctors orders, and they talked to me like I was stupid just because I was low.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 11:48 PM on Sep. 7, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.