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12 Bumps

If your teen is having sex?

If you knew your teen was having sex in a serious relationship, how accepting would you be if they were being safe? Would you allow your teen and their partner their privacy or would you try to keep them as far apart from each other as possible? Would you allow sleepovers? I know parents that are at both ends of this issue. I'm not there yet, my dd is 13 but I'm sure it won't be long until I'm faced with this.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Sep. 8, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (30)
  • I wouldn't let them have sex ever again after I found out! They wouldn't be allowed alone.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:17 PM on Sep. 8, 2011

  • No matter what, there would be no sleepovers. I understand that to a point I can not prevent it but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up and encourage it. I guess if it came down to it I would not lock my daughter up but I would continue to push waiting, and continue to lecture and inform her of the consequences that WILL happen if she ends up pregnant. Then we'd be going to doctors appointments and some type of class that would show her what shes in for. I would not be discussing how great her sex life is though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Sep. 8, 2011

  • my 16 yr old is in a serious relationship-He knows how to be safe- when it happens, but I pray it is when he marries. but I also am not stupid- so I prepared him for the just in case.
    I would NEVER allow it in my house- nor sleepovers, unless she was in my room on the floor and he was in his room at the other side of the house and that would be an emergency situation only- like a blizzard hit or something and he couldn't get her home.

    They don't get privacy in my house- they have to have thier own house to get privacy!


    Answer by 2teens2LOs at 4:19 PM on Sep. 8, 2011

  • I would make sure my daughter was on BC first. Then we would have a talk. She would not get any time alone with this boy or any other boy. In my house at least.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:21 PM on Sep. 8, 2011

  • I will put my girls on birth control pills by the age of 15 if not before then if needed. I am not going to promote sex before marriage, but I am not so naive that I think that won't happen. I don't want them saying "Hey mom, me and Brian are going to my room to have sex." I would rather not know that much detail. I want them to be in a serious monogamous relationship with a good boy. I would have huge issues with them sleeping with multiple partners! This whole situation really stresses me out. I love my girls so much and I just want them to be educated about sex and protected. I want them to only do it with someone they truly love.


    Answer by carsonoliviamom at 4:24 PM on Sep. 8, 2011

  • I have a strict rule, boys are not allowed in my home when one of us parents are not here. No boys are allowed upstairs in the bedroom area at any time. If you choose to have sex, it better not be in my home or you better have a place to live else where.
    I've talked to my girls about premarital sex, and have encouraged them to wait until marriage. Condoms or not, there is nothing to protect one's heart. But, if I found out they were having sex outside my home, I would bite my tongue real hard...and I would NEVER allow a sleep over and enable them to what I disagree with. EVER

    Answer by momma-t42 at 4:27 PM on Sep. 8, 2011

  • If your teen is having sex?

    You mean right this second? Nope.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Sep. 8, 2011

  • I am really, really hoping that I can educate my girls to the point where they feel comfortable enough coming to me and telling me that they're ready, or they're doing it instead of hiding it like I did with my mother. That way we can take proper precautions, like birth control, so they don't end up 17 and pregnant like my sister. This whole subject makes me cringe though, because I know how I was as a teenager. So I'm really hoping that I can use my mistakes as a learning experience to teach my daughters properly. That being said, as they get older, there will be rules. (one is 5, the other isn't even here yet, she'll be born in December) Absolutely no sleepovers with their boyfriends. No boys in the house with mom and dad gone. And no boys in their room. Once they reach adulthood, if they're still living at home, and they're responsible (school, job, etc) we can certainly reexamine those rules.

    Answer by Eviesmommy at 4:44 PM on Sep. 8, 2011

  • I see nothing wrong with teens having sex. As long as they choose to have sex because they want to do it, and because they feel they are ready, not because they are feeling pressured. So if my teens choose to have sex, I'm completely supportive as long as they are safe.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 4:49 PM on Sep. 8, 2011

  • You can't condone them, but you can't condemn them either. Give them the facts, give them access to the tools to keep them safe. For example, if your daughter tells you she's having sex, put her on the pill. I'm not saying put a red light in her bedroom window, but do what you can to keep her safe and protected.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 4:50 PM on Sep. 8, 2011

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