Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Daughter plays with herself

My 3 year old constantly plays with herself. I have read that this happens, but sometimes she is a little out of control. Anyone else have this problem? If so, what did you do? (for mine, just telling her to stop makes it worse)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (13)
  • it's pretty normal-tho uncomfortable for u to see. Try to ignore it at home, in public, tell her"that is private" and that's it. that way she won't do it for attention and she is kinda young for the whole "private talk." I remember saying to ds at that age(his erection scared him lol)"it is natural for it too feel good but it a by yourself-private thing to not show people"also it is a great way to start talking about good touch/bad touch w/her-like who can and who cannot see/touch there, kwim? she will stop, it's a phase.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 7:58 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Tell her its something that is done in private. If she wants to do it, she needs to go to her room and be alone while doing it. Its not something to be ashamed of.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 7:58 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • My 14 month old "humps" the floor or her crib... usually when she's tired. I have a feeling I'll have to deal with it when she's older, for now we just ignore it. My m.i.l. said what other posters said, that we should ignore it and let her be, but that once she's older, to tell her to do that in private (like in her own room or bed)

    anon259: I've reported you :)

    Answer by sfwilson at 8:23 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I think this was a legit question and the anon comment was rude. maybe try positive reinforcement with your daughter to see if it works. good luck

    Answer by maemaesmom at 8:24 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • i would be concerned myself, it may be normal btu if its out of hand you may want to start thinking about whos around her. ask if someone else showed her how to do that cover all yoru bases. mention it to her doctor. maybe try and see if someone else will ask her why she does that

    Answer by SLVN_Jen at 8:30 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • What is up with anon? Wow. Yeah, this is normal. Duh. Most of us will agree to that. It doesn't mean that it still is not upsetting when we actually notice that our child is touching their private parts. Especially if it seems often and a little obsessive. Is it really? Who knows. We aren't there. But continue to educate her that it is okay, she just needs to do it in private. Every time you see her doing this send her to her room. NOT to punish her. But to redirect her to a private place. Keep doing that. Also talk to her pediatrician who can also have a talk with her to reinforce this information. Even at this age kids think mom is lame. A pediatric psychotherapist can have a few sessions with her if she continues and the masturbation becomes inappropriate as far as frequency and places.


    Answer by frogdawg at 8:54 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • cont...I worked with several kids professionally on this issue. It really is not a big deal most of the time. But when it becomes something that a child does say in church, on the bus, in class, in the living room...all the time - then intervention does need to put into place. Again, most of the time it really just needs to be reinforced a few dozen times and then that is that.


    Answer by frogdawg at 8:56 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I am not sure what to say my daughter is 18 months right now and when we change her she touches herself and sometimes she humps so think this will be something that i will have to deal with. i hear it is normal and that they are just exploring. let me know if it changes at all or if you figure out what something that works please.

    Answer by Elly219 at 9:52 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Well, my boys are 4.5 and 3 and everything revolves around their penis's. I remember however when my sister was 2 or 3. She was sitting on the floor sticking a know where.
    I calmly just took it away and told her it was unacceptable.
    Children are born curious. I've read they are born sexual also.
    No worries mama. Just be calm and don't make a big deal about it.

    Answer by Ladybaker2009 at 10:01 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I figured my girls were just curious about a body part they rarely see because it is always covered and they want to explore.
    I would call their attention to something else in a natural voice. I use to ask them if they wanted a snack and we always made it a habit to wash our hands before we ate so that task wasn't unusual for them.
    Eventually, they stopped.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 8:37 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.