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how do you react when your teen son says he may be a father?

on sunday my 15-year old sat me down to tell me that his 14-year old girlfriend might be pregnant and wanted to know my reaction... i told him i would be very disappointed... he said he'd rather i be mad instead... i also told him i'd be very sad for all the things him and his girlfriend would have to give up in order to raise a baby and how it would change all our lives... he knows i was a teen mom and i know firsthand the sacrifices they would have to make... i haven't even discussed this with my husband or anyone else yet (thats why i'm anonymous) as i'm still waiting to know for sure and to absorb the news and deal with my emotions... i'm just wondering how others react in this situation...


Asked by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (13)
  • I would most likely be very sad and grieving for my hopes and dreams I had for my son. The idea that for him I have a certain order of how things are supposed to go. But really grief has its process and then there would be this baby. I have thought about it. I would be supportive of my child and my child's child. I would like to help raise this baby while my child and the child's mother is still growing up. I would support this baby financially to the best of my ability. I would prefer the baby live with me, and the mother too. But if not, still - whatever I can do I will do. In return I expect my child to continue to go to school and make that his second job. His first job is raising his child. I would continue to be supportive of my son and grandchild. And the grandchild's mother.  That is - if the mother does not want to terminate the pregnancy.  I would support her decision as far as it is her body and her right.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:07 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • my mom freaked but i have not had to deal with it

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • It didn't happen to me, for which I am glad. I'd probably be very sad, too. I'd remind him about birth control. And I'd tell him that I hoped he would finish school and that he needed to be finding a job for after school to help support the baby.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:33 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • inhale....exhale...., take it one day at a time. I suppose that's all you really can do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I would be very disappointed in him because they are so young and have so much more growing up to do.IF she is pregnant tell him he needs to grow up and no more stuff for him he needs to start getting ready for baby. Its all about baby know. If it is true the only thing you really can do is except it and be happy. It will be very hard but what can you really do? I got Pregnant at 18 and didn't tell my mom. She found out from my sister and my mom didn't talk to me and kicked me out of the house we had a really bad relationship for along time. When I had the baby she finally talk to me and know we are really close. I am 22 know but I will never forget what happend between us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • can you get a job at 15? I can't remember. Anyways, if my son told me he had gotten someone pregnant, I would tell him immediately that he will need to be there to support the child, and the child's mother through her pregnancy. I would tell him that it's okay if they don't stay together but that he needs to be there for that baby no matter what. I would not allow my child to be a deadbeat father. I know it is hard when you are young and might not be legally able to work just yet. But I would not take the girl in, that's just asking for more trouble.

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 10:24 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Be supportive!!! We know that things will be harder, but not impossible for him & the mother. The best thing is that you are supportive to him & the mother). I was a mother @ 18, yes it takes more effort, but my child is a blessing Support then both & help them grow.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Like you I would probably be disappointed and when I have told my son I was disappointed in bad choices he has made he has also asked me to just be mad. I think it is a good indicator of your relationship that he doesn't want to disappoint you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I would cry. I would scared for him. I don't think I would be pissed, that wouldn't help anything. I'm sure the kid is freaking out and doesn't know what to do. You just have to be there for him, I guess.

    Answer by beforeyoureyes at 12:26 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I would cry too. Like my boss told me, it is painful to watch our kids make mistakes.... very painful. I think the way you talked to him was awesome, very proud of you for keeping your cool. Maybe he is just trying to push your buttons and see how you would react? That's something my 18 ds would do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Dec. 31, 2008