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Should i take her to a doctor?

my 3 1/2 yr old daughter fights w/ me about EVERYTHING.....Sometimes i just dont know what to do....she just out of the blue looks at me and says "mama, I dont love you" ....she get upset over a toy or something and takes it out on me. She cries about anything about everything. Sometimes I just wanna hide and stick my fingers in my ears... i dont know what to do should i take her to a doctor? She is just very emotional about everything.....everything i say like " kristin pick that up please " she says no then cries....or " no kristin you cant have play doe" she says i'm mean and screams and runs off ....i feel terriable... Should i take her to a doctor?

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Armywife510

Asked by Armywife510 at 9:13 PM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • It wouldn't hurt but he may say it's a phase. I would say behavioral counseling would help.

    Ann7227

    Answer by Ann7227 at 9:15 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • This sounds exactly like my 4 1/2 year old son. He's always acted like that and it hasn't changed a bit. I raised him the same way I'm raising my others but he is the most defiant strong-willed child I've ever met. He's brought me to tears before.

    I recommend reading into strong-willed children and different things you could do to see if she handles things better.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:19 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Keep in mind that it takes two to fight. Step back and look at your reactions. You may be reinforcing this behavior without realizing it. For some kids it is very rewarding to see the adult get worked up and angry. Try setting clear boundaries, and responding with little affect, just be really matter of fact. Try to reward the positive (you may have to look hard for it at first!) "I like the way you asked me for more juice with that nice voice." An absoutley awesome book, worth every penny, is "Kids Parents and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurchina. A must read for parents of strong willed kids. I know, I have a 7 yr old who, I swear, has NEVER backed down!
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 9:42 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Ugh. I would say, fine, go cry. Let her get her feelings hurt too. My daughter tried that for about a DAY, I told her, fine, I don't love you either. She was dumbfounded! Never said it again. I walk away from bad behavior, and my kids will come and apologize.
    4theLoveofLovey

    Answer by 4theLoveofLovey at 1:10 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • wow. it's hard when they get mad at us, but we're not their friends. our role is to teach and discipline and meet their needs and love them. "i don't love you"??? respond: "well i love you!" we need to be consistent with our discipline (defined by mirriam webster as "training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character"). "i don't want to" "sorry, but you need to do it anyway." or "i know you don't, but since it's your mess, you need to clean it anyway." got it? validate her feelings "i know you're really mad about having to share, but you share or put it away and no one plays with it". the chronic crying is something else. "crying is for owies" works in my preschool classroom. good luck!
    vickiathome

    Answer by vickiathome at 2:12 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

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