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in tears, help?

dd wasnt listening. after about an hour of trying to get her to lay down for bed (bed time is always a problem) I sat next to hear and explained that it wasnt time for tv or toys and the lights had to go off. Well not long after that she started jumping on the bed. Again i went in a gave her a warning and layed her back down, kissed her head and left. this went on for over an hour. To get to the point, I warned her that she would get a spanking if she didnt lay down and get to sleep. I NEVER spank, just say it for effect. Tonight, I spanked and am in tears. I didnt spank hard you just a tap over the pullup. However, she was a tad but pink(like an irritation).

Please help. I cant believe i did that. That is not me. I just can't deal with her. I love her with all of my heart, but she is hyper and devilish. Please help!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Dec. 30, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (24)
  • I ahve been there . Try having three to put to bed. What time do you lay her down?? Try warm milk before she lays down. And no TV an hour before bed.
    Ann7227

    Answer by Ann7227 at 9:32 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • BTDT! This can be such a frustrating situation! First you need to forgive yourself. Next, find a strategy to deal with the night time issues. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Weissbluth was really helpful for me at this stage. He tells you how to make a short list of "sleep rules" to teach your toddler (stay in bed etc) and then you tell them these are the rules, if you are not following the rules I will put you back in bed the right way. I will say goodnight and kiss you and tuck you in now, if I have to put you back in bed I will not talk to you or look at you. I spent a couple of nights standing in the hall repeatedly putting the toddler back to bed, for a good hour. It was really hard to follow through on not talking to the child, but that is key to not giving them attention. A few hard nights and then total success!! May need to repeat every 6 months or so for a little while.
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 9:36 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • I know how you feel i hate the idea of spanking but sometimes it is the only thing that works. as far as the bedtime nightmare thing goes do you have a nightlight or something that may help. I understand that it is nothing that you can do. i promise though that it will get easier and it will get better. it will be okay. i am not saying continue to spank just that sometimes it is the only thing that is affective. I hope this some how helps. best of luck
    Elly219

    Answer by Elly219 at 9:36 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • It obviously didn't work for you. Even if it got her to do what you wanted her to do...it didn't sit well with you. So don't do it again. You will have lots of show downs with your daughter. When you feel like you are banging your head against the wall over and over again - don't do it. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. I have to remember this with my son everytime he climbs out of his bed, opens his door, and looks for me b/c he wants to be up or have me in the room with him. So I have to think outside the box when it comes to getting him to do what I need him to do. But if it hurts her (and it did) and it hurts you - don't use a punishment that neither one of you are okay with.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:37 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • How can I make it warm without burning it or making it bad?

    I have tried everything, this is a battle every night. I put DS to bed first and when he is asleep then DD goes to bed.

    Unfortunately, they share a room. Feb that will change until when we move
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • You can put it in the microwave on high for 30 sec. Or more just keep checking on it. It will bubble which is normal. And once it's warm make her drink it. She may not like the taste but it's worth a shot.

    Ann7227

    Answer by Ann7227 at 9:48 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Ok..here's some advice I watch A LOT of nanny 911 and this seems 2 help but im going 2 warn u its not going 2 b easy and it will take sum patience..set a bedtime..get into a routine bath story whatever works best 4 u..then after that kiss her and tell her you love her and turn the lights out and walk out...if she gets up..take her back 2 bed..explain 2 her that it is bedtime tuck her back in and walk out...any attempts after that to get up SAY NOTHING..take her hand walk her back to the room and lay her down without saying a word...this may go on for an hour or more but after a few nights she will get the point..it is going 2 b frustrating and hard but the results will b a child that lays down when its time for bed..trust me it works!!!! Stick to it though or its all for nothing and you will b back 2 square 1
    honey_b4you

    Answer by honey_b4you at 10:01 PM on Dec. 30, 2008

  • Make SURE she's tired! That's the key! Get her up an hour earlier, take her for a LONG walk. something to wear her out. Have the same bedtime EVERY night. Have a ritual, bath.. brush teeth.. book... bed. If she is tired, and knows what to expect, it CAN help!! Try it!!
    4theLoveofLovey

    Answer by 4theLoveofLovey at 1:08 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Been there. It is an awful feeling. Sometimes you just reach that point and break.

    First off, don't explain. The longer you spend explaining, the longer she gets to stay awake. So she will keep having you explain, keep getting up, just so she can stay up.

    If possible, take all of her toys out of her room so if she gets out of bed, there is nothing to play with.
    When you start your bedtime routine, use a timer for each phase. When the timer goes off, bathtime is over. When the timer goes off storytime is over. When the timer goes off, lights out. This helps keep it impersonal. It's not YOU saying it's bedtime, it's the timer.
    Tuck her in and leave her. If she gets out of bed, silently take her back. Over and over. That's the hardest part but tons of parents swear it works.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 1:13 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I remember this. I thought it would be so cute to get a the oddler bed. I remember sitting outside her bedroom and everytime she got up I opened the door and put her back. She thought I was magic b/c I knew what she was doing. I tried laying down with her as well and let me tell you an adult and a toddler in a toddler bed....yeah not pretty. I agree with the activity during the day. Also warming up a blanket her favor in the dryer and wrapping her in it after her bath that did it for my child everytime. good luck. just remember if she stops taking the spanking seriuosly whats next.?
    CowgirlCutter

    Answer by CowgirlCutter at 1:17 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

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