Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you think when people can't just be who they REALLY are?

a woman dates a black man and all the sudden she gets braids and talks in ebonics. A woman dates a mexican and all the sudden she only eats mexican food, speaks in spanish slang, listens to spanish music...WHY? WHy can't they just be themselves? Why do they change it all?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Jul. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I think sometime when you get with someone you start liking the things they eat or listen too. SO you do it yourself. I think when you get with men women especially tend to gear their life in the same difectio nas the mens lives. Even if that means changing the way they walk, eat, talk, or what they listen to. That is why it is extemely important not to get with a druggie or someone who deosnt have their life on track, it will most likely bring you down. Or maybe they think acting like that is cool or something....haha idk
    MommyMel03

    Answer by MommyMel03 at 12:49 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • Why does that bother you, who cares? Some people crave change and maybe they want to be with an SO of a different ethnicity because it is interesting to them. I think the real question is why does change bother you so much?
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 12:50 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I wonder that myself too. Who knows....
    jaschem

    Answer by jaschem at 1:01 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I think its dumb. Just be yourself..you don't have to conform into some kind of twin to your man. Or pretend that you are something other than what you are.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I HAVE ALSO WOUNDERED THAT SAME THING. I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOMEONE CHANGING WHO THEY ARE BECAUSE OF WHO THEY ARE WITH....BUT GET THIS I AM MEXICAN, AND WAS RAISED BY ITALIAN AMERICANS~SO I GENERAL GET TOLD THAT IS SEEM "WHITE" BY PEOPLE. WHEN I GOT MARRIED, I MARRIED A TIPICAL MEXICAN TYPE MAN, AND I JUST COULDN'T CHANGE WHO I AM AND HOW I WAS RAISED JUST TO BE LIKE HIM~"MEXICAN". MY HUSBAND&INLAWS(NOT IN A MEAN WAY)ALWAYS SAY THAT I'M WHITE & NOT MEXICAN. THEY JUST EXCEPT AND LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM. WHAT CAN YOU MAKE OF THAT ONE??? I AM A MEXICAN THAT SEEMS WHITE! HAHA! BUT I WOULDN'T CHANGE THAT FOR ANYONE! THATS JUST WHO I AM! I LOVE MY MOM&WHO SHE HAS MADE ME! SMILES! :) ~KAY
    KAYOCHOA

    Answer by KAYOCHOA at 1:32 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I think it depends on the person. I have just always been me.
    Countrygirlw3

    Answer by Countrygirlw3 at 2:10 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • IMO I think women in particular do this because they have a low self worth. They think that the only way to get a man is to change the way he wants you to. No man worth having is worth changing your entire being for. Same goes for women trying to change men...accept them as they are and for who they are or move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I don't know why some women do that. I have a black husband and still as white as can be. He fell in love with me just the way I was. But honestly I think it's stupid that women do that.
    jaysmommy08

    Answer by jaysmommy08 at 4:20 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN