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Am I selfish? Or, truely suffering?

I have a 4 week old son with a cleft lip that will require surgery in a couple months. I've already brought him 400 miles with my 2 year old daughter in tow for his first appointment.

In the car, I was pulling my hair out trying to breastfeed my son and take care of my daughter. A trip that should have taken 8 hr., took 13. CRRAZY!

My daughter is very intellegent and therefore, requires a truckload of attention. If I'm feeding my son, she's 10 inches up my butt wanting a cup of juice, or a hug... Normal but, once again, CRAZY.

Then there's my so. He's been upset because I'm not giving him any attention lately. I've just been so busy with the kids, I'm almost rude when he wants a hug or kiss. I don't mean to, but I can't help it.

So I quit breastfeeding my son. I feel like what I have done is selfish but, it's all 1000 times easier to survive. Am I?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Jul. 15, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Sometimes something has to give. It is FAR better for everyone if that something isn't your sanity. You made a tough decision for the best interest of your entire family.

    Here's a great big hug for you and I hope your little guy comes through surgery with flying colors and smiling lips!
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:55 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • Whats easier for you and your family! If it was getting to hard/stressful for you your baby knows that! I think you made the right choice. Good Luck!
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • No one can tell you what you are doing is right or wrong. However, if you are honestly doing better now, then perhaps you made a good choice. There are plenty of formula fed babies that function and lead completely normal lives. Don't let anyone tell that what you feel is right for your family is wrong. SO long as your son is still being fed, you are doing your best, and that is all that you can do. No one can expect miracles. And as far as you SO goes, he needs to understand that the children come first. I understand that your relationship might be suffering, but he can cope with that better than your children can.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:54 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • i think you did watwas best for you and your familly, but thats just my opinion =)
    Sweet_nothings

    Answer by Sweet_nothings at 1:03 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • WHO REALLY KNOWS WHATS BEST IN THE WAY OF BREAST MILK OR FORMULA FOR EVERY CHILDREN. WHAT YOU DID WAS NOT SELFISH-YOU DID IT TO GIVE MORE OF YOURSELF TO YOUR FAMILY. IF THATS WHAT WORKS FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, THEN THATS A VERY UNSELFISH CHOICE. GOOD LUCK AND BEST WISHES! :) SMILES! ~KAY
    KAYOCHOA

    Answer by KAYOCHOA at 1:10 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • You have to do what is best for you and your family. BOth my kids were formula fed..and they are fine!! don't worry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • You should always make sure first and foremost to take care of yourself! It makes you a better mommy.
    Tammycakes

    Answer by Tammycakes at 1:25 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • A more happy, less stressed Mommy is always better for the kids. If breastfeeding makes you feel like you could snap at any moment but bottle feeding leaves you calmer and able to care for the kids then bottle feeding is the better option. In my opinion. I always tell people you have to do what you have to do. If it works for you then do it that way.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:30 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • i think if breastfeeding was taking such a toll on you then you did the right thing because a stressed out parent makes stressed out kids and that is never good. sometimes you have to stop certain things to make life easier and this was just one of them... good luck
    iknowudontluvme

    Answer by iknowudontluvme at 2:38 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • i'm sorry did i miss something? bottle feeding is not easier unless you have others doing it. no you are not selfish to find what best works for you but breast milk is best for tne baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:33 PM on Jul. 15, 2008