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Daughter wants to live with boyfriend

my 18 year old daughter asked me tonight if her boyfriend could move in. I told her absolutely not, that if she wanted to live with her boyfriend then they have to get their own apartment. Obviously I cannot stop her because she is an adult, but its not going to happen in my home, is this fair?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Sep. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • Absolutely. Don't enable them to make bad choices.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:58 PM on Sep. 9, 2011

  • Sure it's fair. Your house, your rules.
    Brawnwyn

    Answer by Brawnwyn at 9:58 PM on Sep. 9, 2011

  • yes...one question...ydo they want to live with u instead of alone?
    SLC3015

    Answer by SLC3015 at 9:58 PM on Sep. 9, 2011

  • whatever you want is going to happen in your home is whats fair for you, its your home.
    if it was me, and i liked her boyfriend, i would let him live with us. he would have to have a job and contribute a small amount towards food and rent etc. - and she would either be in college or working but i wouldnt expect them to have there own apartment in this economy at that age. things are expensive and most kids are still living at home at that age. i come from a family where we always except peoples boyfriends and girlfriends in like our own family, as long as they treat our family good.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:59 PM on Sep. 9, 2011

  • I pretty much told her that if they want to play house they need to get their own place.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:59 PM on Sep. 9, 2011

  • PURPUL- thats good for you, thats not the way I raised my kids. If my kids want to move in with their gf/bf it will be in their own apartment, I don't agree with them living in my home. I don't feel any need of bfs/gfs living together with the parents. That is pretty much enabling them. I told my daughter if she can't afford an apartment then she will just have to wait on moving in with her bf.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:01 PM on Sep. 9, 2011

  • Good job mom!

    They are testing you.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:01 PM on Sep. 9, 2011

  • Purpul- yes your right things are expensive. Thats why I told my daughter that it is best they live in separate houses until they can afford to live on their own in an apartment. Also they tried talking to his parents about moving in and they feel the same way.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:04 PM on Sep. 9, 2011

  • enabling them to do what ? you keep saying your enableing them... to do what ?
    you asked for my advice so i gave you my opinion so yeah it is "good for me".
    if you already have your mind set and you dont want to hear what people have to say who dont agree with you why did you ask this question?
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:07 PM on Sep. 9, 2011

  • just saying...if my parents had allowed this to happen i would have seen how difficult living with a man was and broke it off before i could become a mother at 19. i love my kids but i regret a lot of the decisions i made prior to having them including moving out of their house and into a very unstructured friends place at 18 because i wanted to be right. i hope your daughter makes better decisions than i did at that age.
    sophistcatdfury

    Answer by sophistcatdfury at 10:11 PM on Sep. 9, 2011

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