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How do I deal with my 18 yr old son having a 36 year old girlfriend?

Just found out on Christmas day my son has a much older girlfriend that has kids his age. I'm stunned and speechless. He just turned 18 and is still in high school. He has become a differnt person all together. Is now rude and disrespectful, which he has never been with his family. I did ask her what her intentions are with my teenage son and she said she 'clicks' with him and then she got pretty snotty and said I'd probably be happier if he just had hookers instead of her. He packed up some clothes and said he was going to live with her. I haven't talked with him in 3 days and he wont return my calls. I did tell him that because he chose to have her in his life didn't mean that I had to, but that I still loved him and wanted him to be a part of our lives. It hurts so much to know that she's guiding him in what he should be doing with his life after high school. He was going to go to college. Not sure what to do now.

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Asked by 2BoysMom40 at 12:14 AM on Dec. 31, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (32)
  • Ask him if he likes to be controlled. That is the only reason a woman her age would want a boy his age. That and the sex.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 12:17 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • there is nothing you can do except accept it and let him be. He's an adult now no matter how much you still view him as a child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • wow...I would be in shock..there is nothing you really can do except express your concerns to him and explain why you are upset about it....I would also wonder why a 36 y/o woman wanted to date a baby!!! Good luck sorry I'm not of much help keep us updated

    Answer by luvsgriffin at 12:19 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I don't even know what to tell you. I can't imagine why the hell a woman her age would be with someone that is still a kid. I have the feeling that you won't need to wait long to get him back. I would tend to think that she is using him. She will likely be one of his lessons learned. Good luck.

    Answer by Jynnifer292 at 12:24 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • sorry to hear that this is happening but since he's 18 theres nothing you can do. i dont think..i guess this is something he's going to have to learn on his own..he's gonna get hurt, and if you love him as much as im gonna guess you do, just be there when the bitch breaks his little fresh heart..then go break hers.

    Answer by tnteaton at 1:43 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • This happened to someone in our school district, but the boy was a jr. and the woman was about that age, hate to tell you but they are still together, and its been over 2 years.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Honestly what is that woman thinkin'? Just try to act like you aren't bothered by it, reverse psychology!?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I am 36 and the thought of having a serious,longterm relationship w/a 18 yr old child is laughable-and nauseating.i am sure he's a nice kid, I mean no offense-i simply mean I don't see her being around long. Just be as supportive as u can, even if it means letting her in your life. He is your son and if u do not-u could lose him. U don't have to like it mom, but if u want to have a relationship w/him-u need to accept her the best u can. If she is a snot like u say, at some point hopefully he will see it.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 2:31 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • LOL, Bearsjen, I'm 28 and can't imagine having a serious long term relationship with an 18 year old. Definitely laughable and nauseating.

    At any rate, to the OP, there isn't much you can do. He's an adult and the more you protest the further it will push him into her arms. If she is truly horrible he will get it eventually.

    Answer by JMmama at 3:42 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I have an 18yo in high school. He knows the rules. He cannot date anyone who is not in high school. We still make the rules for as long as he is in high school and living in our house.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

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