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what do i do?

i'm completely confused when it comes to my daughter's father so here's the thing he never had a dad growing up so i know he's scared of being a father himself but when he's with her he's does really well everyone says so but he's still scared so he'll go weeks without seeing her! and he lives just about 2 blocks away! i know that i can care for her on my own (hell ive been doing it since i found out i was pregnant) but im worried for her i don't what her to get hurt and she's so crazy about him so do i let him play this disappearing act with her or do i tell him to stay away until he's ready to be a real dad to her? i just don't want my baby to get hurt and i don't want to make the wrong decision for her it's a pretty big deal and he's a good guy i just don't think its right for him to skip out on her like that......help!

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tasha080808

Asked by tasha080808 at 1:45 AM on Dec. 31, 2008 in Relationships

Level 11 (539 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Have you spoken to him about the good and the bad things he does? Everyone tells him he is doing great but does he realize the harm he is doing by staying away? You're both adults and the best thing to do is talk like adults. Tell him that he is great for coming to see her but he hurts her by avoiding her because he gets scared off. Depending on how old your daughter is maybe she should talk to him about it. Perhaps if she tells him that she loves him and wants to see him and that she thinks he is a great dad it may make a difference. It sounds to me like he may not be aware that all parents make mistakes and no parents are perfect, it's part of the role we sign up for that sometimes they will love us and other times they will dislike us.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 1:49 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • My brother is an on again off again dad, and in the end, he is her dad. Your daugter will cherish any time she has with him, so let him see her when he wants. You will only hurt her if you keep dad and his crazy ways away from her. Even an hour will mean the world to her. Not all men are the perfect dad, unfortunately, but to daddy's little girl he can do no wrong. Keep your hear open, and let your daughter enjpy and little time her dad has to offer.
    4theLoveofLovey

    Answer by 4theLoveofLovey at 1:52 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • He needs to be consistent. Either he's going to be there or he's not.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 2:18 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

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