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How to deal

My dad died in September and I am feeling really guilty because I didn't go up to see him that much and my son didn't really get to see him that much. I just want to know if there is anyway I could get over my guilt?

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Curtsmom

Asked by Curtsmom at 1:49 AM on Dec. 31, 2008 in Relationships

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Maybe make a scrapbook of good memories of your dad for your son, like a ziploc photo album (waterproof for little kids!) that he can look at so he can have part of your dad. Make up for not being there then by making him a part of your life now. Scrapbooks, celebrate his birthday etc.
    Crystal42683

    Answer by Crystal42683 at 1:52 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • You may never fully get over your guilt, but you'll find that it will lessen. Remind yourself that at least you did see him and you did spend time with him. You can't change the past and dwelling on something you can't change is one of the worst things for people to do. Ecspecially after someone has passed away. Just remember that you loved your father and that you can keep the memory of him alive for your son.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 1:52 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Forgive yourself-I know where your dad is now, he already has forgiven u. I had a similar situation w/my mom and I just have to believe she knew inher heart that tho I was far away-she was my world and Iloved her. do u think your dad would want you to carry this? of course not. It is easier said than done, but try to forgive yourself-and the memory book is a good idea. Tell ds a special memory every week or month, make it a tradition.(hugs)
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 1:55 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • guilt is one of the many ways to deal with a death...you won't feel guilty soon enough, everyone copes differently..but, it will eventually get better. sorry for your loss. much sympathy.
    GreekMama28

    Answer by GreekMama28 at 1:58 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • i'm sorry for your loss. the sorrow doesn't ever completely go away - time doesn't heal wounds but time does help one deal with wounds. the scrapbook is a good idea. let your son even write a letter to grandpa and put it in a bottle at sea or bury it in like a timecapsule for people years from now to know how good HIS grandpa was. Blessings to your heart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • My daughters lost their father 2 and 1/2 years ago. They were 16 and 20 at the time and they still question "what if I had done_______". Time is a healing factor. I know some people won't agree, but, talk to your Dad now in private. Tell him everything you wanted him to know. He may not be there physically but he is there in your heart and spirit. Even tho he won't answer, you told him and it will help you cry the hurt out. Crying will help and it does make you feel better. Time will help you too....((((curtsmom)))) theres you a hug
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:18 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

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