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2 Bumps

HELP Trying to bring two families together !!

OK my husband got custody off his daughter her mother is in prison this is her second time going to prison this time the daughter said she would like to live with us, but her mother do not want her here now she is scared to write her mother because she thinks she is going to make here live how do i get everyone to unite as one for this child so she want feel asham off liking to be here or feel like she is disappointingher mom families

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lilmama29113

Asked by lilmama29113 at 8:55 PM on Sep. 10, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 14 (1,691 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Considering mom is doing her SECOND prison stint, I would be surprised if a court allowed mom's family to have custody of this child. It appears they messed up with mom.

    You can't control what others do, unfortunately. Remind everyone that the CHILD'S welfare is what matters here. And then put it to a neutral third party such as the court.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:58 PM on Sep. 10, 2011

  • Some people are helplessly stubborn....or reckless. There is only so much you can do but it's ultimately up to that person to have common sense and unfortunately not everyone does. I wish you luck I hope things go okay.
    Rosxjun88

    Answer by Rosxjun88 at 9:02 PM on Sep. 10, 2011

  • if i was you i be going for full and permit custody of this girl she need a permit home I'm a cusodal step mum and i can tell you birth mum sometime are not the best role models for there kids . i'm nt saying cut mum out but get custody and get her no choose but go complay with what best for this girl

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Sep. 10, 2011

  • I'm with aidiamnte. You can help her write a letter to her Mom if she wants. If she doesn't Dad needs to write Mom and give her an update. SHow she's doing, things sher's done, that she is well and so on. Keep it professional. Screen moms letters coming in. If her letters are belittling in any way..don't give them to her. this child already lives with the stigma of mom in jail. The last thing she needs is to be hassled about her choice to lie with Dad and you. You may not be able to unite the families...but you can certainly advocate for what is in this childs best interest.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:03 PM on Sep. 10, 2011

  • Sorry about tyos. How* Live, not lie.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:05 PM on Sep. 10, 2011

  • I want nothing but the best for the child my husband is going for full custody he do not want to give her back when the mom get's out plus she would 15 going on 16 when the mom gets out but she feels bad because she wants to stay with us and her mom do not want her here plus the mom family told my husband they do not want the girl

    lilmama29113

    Comment by lilmama29113 (original poster) at 9:10 PM on Sep. 10, 2011

  • if i were you dh i just take the blam and write to her and say he got her cause legal he can and tahts the end of it . the mum gona hate someone it may as well be him . there no winning in these sort of thing . let her hate your dh and not her family and not her daughter
    feralkitten

    Answer by feralkitten at 9:13 PM on Sep. 10, 2011

  • She is half grown. If Mom is in prison, and the girl is STILL afraid of her Moms reaction that screams emotional abuse in the past. Ask her if she would prefer that Dad told Mom. I'm betting money this young lady needs some counseling to deal with what is happening now..and what has already happened.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:14 PM on Sep. 10, 2011

  • Thanks GrnEyedGrandma I think she need counseling too my husband says she is find but when she was younger children serves took her from her mom twice plus this is her second time in prison I love this lil girl she tells me I do more for her then any every have

    lilmama29113

    Comment by lilmama29113 (original poster) at 9:19 PM on Sep. 10, 2011

  • ((( hugs to both of you ))))) convince Dad that this child is damaged inside. Time to help her work through it before it starts coming out in poor choices. Yeah step Mom!
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:36 PM on Sep. 10, 2011

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