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How do I handle kids that are a 'bad' influence on my 8 yr old daughter?

My daughter has chosen to not hang out with a certain girl in her class because she is not very nice to my daughters or to others. But the girl insists on the friendship. Girl also lives down the street from us. I have talked to both Mom and daughter about putting the friendship on a pause for a while (the girls were verbally fighting at school--with the other girl threatening physical fights). Neither Mom nor daughter want to stop the friendship!! Is it wrong for me to ask them to stay away? How do I handle this situation? Mom works on becoming friends with me to keep the girls close. Mom is also not so nice...


Asked by Anonymous at 2:39 AM on Dec. 31, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • U need to be very clear at this point say"I have tried to be polite but I need to be clear, I just don't want our kids hanging out. It isn't a benefit to either of them at this point." They both sound creepy.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 2:55 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • you are the mom... set the rules. If the girl is toxic, cut her out. You, and you alone will be judged for YOUR child's actions. Don't let another chid dictate your child's outcome.

    Answer by 4theLoveofLovey at 2:44 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I guess I'm having a problem cutting her out because Mom is making sure that I do not cut her out. Mom walks by our house and calls often (because I dont pick up) and then sends her kids to my door. Should I just be really mean to them? I usually handle these situations by saying politely, "no thanks" and then walking away. This is not going to work in this situation. I'm not sure where the boundaries need to be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Address yourself very plainly towards the mother (not the child). Tell the mother that under no circumstances will you or your child associate with her and her child. If the child shows up at your door, politely tell her that she is not allowed over at your house and that her mother will explain it to her. Tell the mother that if the harassment continues, you will take further action to prevent them from coming around. If the harassment continues at school, then I'd consider requesting a new classroom assignment for my child.

    Answer by Kimebs at 8:24 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Hi - I seen your question and I remember going thru this with my sons. It worked out great when I decided to keep including this child in events and just decided to be overly friendly , These children seem to need the "normalcy" of your life and are usually just in a way jealous of the happiness of your child, when they see how much fun they are missing by being so nasty they seem to show you and your child a nice side of them. If your child decides to not be a frind with this child let them choose, because as you are finding out when you get involved it will blow up in your face. As far as the parent you can be polite but not "friends" with the mom. Im sure other parents will see her "bitchy" side and also decide to not be a friend to her. Take Care--- Cori

    Answer by MSUMom117 at 8:52 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I would just be blunt and say hey listen your daughter is not very nice and I don't really thing my daughter enjoys hanging out with her... she can be a bully... and just don't let her come over then talk to the teacher and let her know how you feel about it.

    Answer by dtetz at 9:09 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I don't know--I would try to be nice and say ok, let her come over but if she starts being a bully etc. then tell her its time for her to go home--i would lay down the rules for her when she comes over, we don't do this at our house. --If she doesn't follow the rules, she has to go home.

    Answer by Lanasmom at 9:59 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Make your home less pleasant for the girl. If she shows up, say "Hi, we were just cleaning house, wanna help?" If she says yes, hand her a toilet brush. At least you will get your house clean. LOL

    I know this sounds snarky, but I did it with our neighbor's daughter. Turns out she LOVES hard work, and would spend an hour helping me load wood. Eventually she outgrew her less pleasant traits and is now a pleasure to have around.

    Answer by mancosmomma at 10:39 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I would tell your daughter to stay away from her at school, and you can mediate and avoid out of school contact
    good luck

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 11:29 PM on Jan. 1, 2009