Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

LOST ladies please help!!!!!!!

Me and my SO live together, have a baby together now that is almost 4 months old. Well we have been having some fights over money, marriage, more kids and on and on and on. Last night he didn't come home until 9 at night and then called it quits. BUT I have talked him into re-concidering or re-thinking things thru for a few days and he agreed we will talk again suday. So for 5 whole days I gotta wonder what on earth he is going to do. What would you do? Should I just walk away with the baby and let it go, or stick around and see if his mind changes? Any ideas on how to maybe re-assure him I do want to be with him (reminder we aren't talking at the moement) I am so lost, and hurt. We had so many plans for things in the next couple months now I don't know what to do :( Please help ladies my heart is crushed!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:56 AM on Dec. 31, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Relationships are hard there not easy. What you guys fight about is common. Very common. But you guys have to put that aside and ask yourselves do you really want to work this out. You guys need to compromise.  On these issues. But may be he's had engough and needs a break. And if he doesn't want to work on your guys relationship. Then you will have to  work has parents and get along for your child.  Good Luck . I hope you guys work it out .


    Answer by Ann7227 at 7:06 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • if you aren't married, why are you fighting over it. If you are fighting over money, can you afford another child? Why Are the things you are fighting for or against causing so much trouble. i don't know all the problems associated with this, so it really is hard to answer

    Answer by Kat122 at 7:55 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • kids change relationships significantly. Before the baby, you 2 were able to focus on each other and now that your little one is here, although you have had nine months to focus on balancing baby and your new life - with men it seems that it really doesn't sink in until the baby arrives. Some figure it out, others flee in fear of the changes that MUST occur. I know it is scary to think that he may leave, but when it really comes down to it, that baby becomes the focus of your world and although it would be nice to share those responsibilities with the other half, you can't force them. He will either figure it out and join in or you must figure out how to manage the new arrival on your own. It is sad. You could consider counseling if he is willing. Babies are life altering. Good luck with your situation, don't leave it all up to your SO. You have decisions and choices in this matter as well.

    Answer by tscheese at 7:57 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I agree with tscheese!

    It shouldn't be what your SO wants, but what YOU want?! You're on pins and needles now, do you really want to "convince" a man that has doubts about staying in the relationship to stay?! If forced to stay or made to feel guilty about leaving, he will only either resent you or cheat on you, and neither makes for a happy or healthy environment in which to raise your CHILD--who should be THE most important consideration!

    People who WANT to stay in a relationship, will (and will work out any problems)...there is no need to do any convincing/coercing.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:13 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Personally I would never beg someone to reconsider and be with me. If I am with someone and have children with them I want them to want me as much as I want them. Otherwise youre just second best or hes there for all the wrong reasons. I would let him go and you never know not being with you might be enough to make him realize he was wrong and come back, then again it might not. Either way you know that saying, if you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours, if it doesnt it never was.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:18 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Successful relationships rely on setting boundaries. Negotiate what you want in the relationship and set down those boundaries (what you will and won't tolerate). Don't let him walk all over you out of fear he will leave. Even if he does, most men cool down and come back. Don't you love how ppl will give a 2 week notice to leave a job but they walk out on a relationship. There should be a law that requires ppl to give a 3 month notice so you can prepare for them leaving!

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:56 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Actually it should be what BOTH OF YOU WANT. I don't agree that its just you or just him. Thats something to think about. Maybe its a good thing you aren't married, because thats harder to get out of/

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • From experiance I know that once you have made up your mind that you dont want to be with someone anymore.. thats it.. even if you say "We'll give it some time.." you always know in your mind that you DONT wanna be with them anymore. Begging him is not going to help.. maybe some people are differant and can change thier mind and decide they do love that person after all.. but I am not like that. With my ex.. I knew years before I left him I didnt want to be with him.. finally.. I just couldnt take it anymore and he asked me to "give him time.." I couldnt.. I knew I wanted out, and giving it time wasnt going to do any good.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.