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Is it wrong for me to think bad.....

I just found out my husband has been looking at porn on the computer. Is it wrong for me to get mad. He says its just a computer but he has cheated on me before. He also keeps on me about my weight. I don't look like a model, but I think I am alright. Is it okay or am I just being jealous?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Dec. 31, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Personally, I wouldn't be upset about the porn...but I also would have left when he cheated and I would feel worse about him looking at "skinny" women online while he called me fat. I'm not saying everybody that has been cheated on should leave...but I know for me, I would NEVER truly get over it or forgive it and trapping both of us in a relationship where that would always be a problem wouldn't be fair.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 9:15 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • no i would be mad. It is not right for him to keep critizing your weight. I would be mad if he was looking at porn it kind of makes me feel like I am not good enough for him. Good luck!

    Aidansmom2728

    Answer by Aidansmom2728 at 9:17 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I would not tolerate a man looking at porn, nor would I be with a man who likes to look at porn.
    So yes I would be upset. If he did this before you were married than you knew about it.
    good luck
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 9:18 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • No I wouldnt be upset about the porn. I used to be alot like you and then took a Human Sexuality class while attending college for my psych degree. They go over alot of that in the class and they say men are more visual then women which is why they enjoy porn more then women might. It is totally natural and healthy for a man to look at porn. I would not be upset about that but it seems like maybe your issue comes from the fact he cheated, not the porn.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:18 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • If it bothers you and you have talked to him about it then NO, he should respect YOUR thoughts and feelings on it. I do not understand why a man has to go look at naked women on a computer anyway. Dreaming and wishing maybe...lol... If a man has a woman at home then he can look at it in person.
    He said something about your weight..... I would put him out! Yes, just like that. I would not waste my time on someone who puts me down or 2nd.
    JLynn0871

    Answer by JLynn0871 at 9:22 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Men will be men ha. My boyfriend looks at porn and has FOLDERS of it on his computer. It use to bother me alot but now instead of getting mad i just make jokes to him about it and make fun of him...in a funny way not a hurtful way. Its just a man thing, and i can understand it bothering you and NO MAN should ever comment a womens weight... us women are sensitive to that lol. But you kno wat sweetie, i bet ur beautiful and im not a model either and have gotten VERY insecure since becoming pregnant because of weight gain, but i look at it as though weight can be lost so its not like its a permanant thing ya kno... I mean u can go to him and express ur feelings...[[con...]]
    kwiseman19

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 9:31 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • but dnt expect the reaction u want ya kno... i was told before that men dnt respond to our feelings like a women would if u were to go to them about our feelings.... if we want that than we shuld prob date a women lol.... but jus kno that in the end it all comes down to you and what ur willing to deal with... if u settle for less u get it, if u dont, u dnt. Just kno that regardless of ANY MAN [epecially one who needs to go to a computer to look at porn to have a good time lol.... my man does it to...] that ur a beautiful women and he should be grateful to have you!
    kwiseman19

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 9:34 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Honestly... I'd be mad. To me lust is cheating... sorry but when I' with a guy... I want to be the only woman they are looking at. I got lucky... my man just has no interest in stuff like that...I told him I wanted to do a passion party and he looked discusted...he was like isn't that dildos and stuff... and I had to explain that it as other things to... like lube and little games and such.So basically... if you feel uncomfortbale with it... then you have ever right to be mad. Some girls don't mind it and theirs nothing wrong with that... but your not that girl... and their is nothing wrong with that either. I completely agree that he needs to respect your feelings.
    dtetz

    Answer by dtetz at 9:38 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • see i dnt agree that lust is cheating...that wuld mean EVERYONE in the world has cheated on their loved one.... lust is a very natural thing for men and women and for men, porn is a different kinda of pleasure... i mean honestly... how much could a guy get out of porn on a computer... at the end of the day... the real thing is still number one.. there are women who look at porn as much as men do.... u could offer to throw a porn on while in bed with ur husband.... spice it up for the both of you... porn is a natural thing and isnt by ANY MEANS considered cheating... just my opinion.
    kwiseman19

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 9:47 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I would be mad also, exspecially since he is critasizing your weight. Well maybe if he wasn't watching porn on the computer he wouldn't be comparing you to the "other" girls. To me I also see it as cheating, and some people are fine with porn and they watch it as a couple. Well I don't mind that, it's their own business. But as for me, I don't like it. I don't want to feel inadaquate because of it. No man should EVER critisize any woman about their weight!! I think that you should just open up in a nice manner about how you really don't like this, and hopefully he understands and will stop??
    ali_1107

    Answer by ali_1107 at 9:48 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

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