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In need of dicsiplinary advice ASAP! Im clueless! How to handle my 6yo son's careless act....

My 6yo son and I moved into our new home in Sept 08. We are so lucky to have found our roommate, who is an independent, hard-working and kind single Mom. About 2 weeks ago my roomie, Eve, brought to my attention a few scratches in her very nice dining table. We both knew my son, D, did it. He never confessed but guilt was all over his face. So from that point on Eve asked D to use a place mat each and every time he was at the table. I was confident he understood what he did was wrong.
My confidence was shattered last night when Eve showed me new, deeper scratches in the same table, in his same spot. This time D didnt bother lying. He just apologized when asked to and then cried. Eve made it clear that she cant just overlook this. She wants her table how it was.
So here's the Q.. Eve banned him from the living room area. What should I do? Ban tv? Compuer? If so, how long? Extra chores? Any advice would be gr8!

Answer Question
 
jolze

Asked by jolze at 9:38 AM on Dec. 31, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Did he scratch it on purpose, or is it just wear and tear from a 6 year old using it? I think banning him from the room where you eat seems very harsh for a 6 year old. If he did it on purpose did you ask him why. Moving is very stressful for children. This might be his way of letting you know he having trouble. He needs to be punished, but I would make it a rule that  he needs to eat at the table with someone watching him. I think banning him could really make him resent your roommate and cause more problems in the future.

    MAUREEN55

    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 9:48 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • You can take things away and make him earn them back one at a time.


    Does he have a little kids table he can eat at? If not I really suggest going out and buy one. We use one for our two boys age seven and three.


    I'm having a really hard time with my seven year old and have been for over a year now. My mother said it was a bad age and by eight they get better then comes the  teen years, lol.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 9:52 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Your room mate has know right banning your son from any were in the house but her private areas(her bed room, her bathroom, type places). I think the living room is public areas. She knew you had a child when you two decided to room together. If she doesn't want her stuff messed up she should remove it from the house, or you could buy it from her if that is possible Sound to me like you need to get another room mate to me.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:52 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I asked him very calmly why he did it and after a bit of thought he said "he didnt know". It kinda suprised me cuz usually after a moments thought he answers with a colorful story. I can totally picture him sitting there, watchin tv, grabbin whatever is in reach and carelessly scratching the table. Grrr......
    Regardless of whether or not my roomie was prepared for children is kinda irrelevant to me. I feel my son should just know better! Is that rational??
    jolze

    Answer by jolze at 10:00 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I don't think she should ban him from the living room--thats just harsh--i think you need to talk to him and ask him why he did this --I can understand why eve is upset--she had a very nice table and didn't think a 6 year old would do this, i mean accidents happen, but it appears this is intentional--he needs to learn to respect other peoples things. --Maybe he's having a hard time dealing with the move, but he needs a safe way to take out his frustrations, not on eve's table.
    Lanasmom

    Answer by Lanasmom at 10:04 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I totally agree with you joze, like I said my son is the same way. I will ask him things like why and he will say I don't know or I forgot or just gives me a blank look lol.


    Take away what he loves most and let him earn it back but just make sure you talk to him about what he did and why you are doing what you are. Your not doing anything wrong.


    I do agree though your roommate has no place to ban him from a room that is intended for everyone. Maybe buy the table I suggested and he can still be in the same room and eat dinner together.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 10:06 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • No it is not rational to expect a 6 year old BOY. Not to be destructive. You do what you want. You want to disapline your son. Go ahead.  But you roomy still need to under stand you have a child and kids do things.


    Is this place yours or the roomies?

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:09 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Its my roommates. He's my 1st child (and last) and I find that fairly often I just kinda assume he would know better... At our previous home he did the same thing to one of their sentimental tables "made by a grandfather...." Because they were way lack other than a serious talking to the incident was forgotten.... til now....
    jolze

    Answer by jolze at 10:19 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • My opinion is, now I know the whole story. Is MOVE, get your own place. Then your Boy can  be a boy with out  him distroying anyone elses stuff. Or lock him in his room, like your roomy want. Sence it  is his place, not yours. You didn't say you were the room mate.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:26 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Put a strong/thick table cloth on the table--the kind that is vinyl with a soft under body and take the tv away for 6 days. I'd also make him use a place-mat too. You can't really keep him out of a "common" area, but you need to discuss this with the roommate.

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 10:40 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

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