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MIL issues

i dont care for my mil at all. i've dealt with her only because my hubby is the only child & i know he needs his mom- i know because i lost my mom at the age of 18... and when ur mom is gone... ur life changes. Period. but i am at my wits end. i have decided to start my newyear fresh with no drama, and im about to say- no mil, bc i about to have nothing, i mean nothing to do with her... but anyway...she hasnt said, but i know that she wants her son to be back with his ex. she takes up with the ex kids,(1 is her grandson and the other isnt even her biological grandchild. and she doesnt even come by to see our 1 year old. she hasnt given his xmas. which i dont mind.bc i enjoy being free from her anyway...but at the same token.it hurts... need feedback

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Dec. 31, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think you see her when you have to, when your husband needs you to. You say nothing about her to him. You smile and be polite when in her presence. And, you don't concern yourself with what she wants or how she acts. You concentrate all your energies on your husband, and in time, he will figure her out. Pointing all this stuff out to him will do no good. It will only serve to make you look like the baddie. You just love him, and he will come to see the truth.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:27 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • So just continue to distance yourself..I have..I smile and act polite, but on the inside I can't stand the lady! Your husband and kids are your family now, and that also goes for him. MIL shouldn't be a large part of you life. If you (which sounds like ) have made the efforts, and get nothing in return, then just forget about it..Life is alot easier when you realize who the "crazys" are..Sometimes family!!
    sydsmom2

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 10:31 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • OMG I so thought u were talking about my MIL for a min. See she has 2 kids my DH and my HATEFUL sister in law. I hate her too. My Sis in law had a kid a the age of 20 and gave it up to another family member LONG STORY.....anyways my MIL thinks the other child is the best thing since sliced bread. and my daughter is shit on her shoe. She never comes to see her or call me to see how she is. She only calls her son. And I get sooooo mad at him sometimes, but I know its his mom. CONT
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • But I have had 3 talks with my MIL about coming and see her OTHER grandchild and she has made NO effort to come. So she came on Xmas day and got ower daughter a toy boys and color stuff and clothes and 200savings bond(mind you she GOES WAY OVER BOARD on gifts for her at times to make up for not being around. And that is a whole nother thing i get mad about. But I am just done with her. My hubby can talk to her all he wants but she needs to expect nothing from me and when my daughter is big enough she can make her own mind up about her grandma...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Just stay away from her. When you HAVE to go to a family function where she will be just try to be in a differant room or area as her. Don't answer her phone calls let your husband deal with that and when he trys to talk to you about what she said change the subject or just say that's nice. Just focus on your kids and husband. Make your own life not around her. Don't even worry about her. I know a lot of people who favor one child/grand child over the others and even if you point it out they never see it.
    sixlilmonsters

    Answer by sixlilmonsters at 11:45 AM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • i thought you were talking about MY soon to be MIL! although... i hate to admit it, yours sounds worse. mine plays favorites to my fiances son that he had with his ex wife. anything and everything concerns her when it comes to him. but surprisingly she made this christmas a good one by treating both his and our children equally. my SO may as well be a single child because her other kids took off and arent around much and he is a little mamas boy. i have just about HAD IT with her. but i think being mad all the time and talking bad about her to my SO has probably made things worse between us. i am working on trying to be neutral with her and ending the bad talk about her [and the ex].
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • CONT. you need to be the bigger person [or at least act like it]. i know its hard. but in the end, he will figure it out and things wont go bad between the two of you. would you want to give her the satisfaction of being able to come between the two of you? i sure wouldnt! just try to keep that in mind everytime she does something to piss you off or everytime you want to voice your opinion of her to him. it works!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

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