Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I tell my husband I need him to be home more w/out making him feel like an a*hole?

I am married to a man who is married to me and his job. We've been experiencing financial difficulties due to his alimony payment which shorts us enough money that he HAS to work extra on side projects for cash to help keep us afloat. I understand that its doing what needs to be done in order to survive but I'd really like my husband back. I want to tell him but I don't want him to feel like a heel or like its another obligation he has to make time for in his already hellacious schedule. Alimony doesn't end until 9/09 and I just don't know if I can suck it up for another year w/out going crazy! I love my husband and appreciate everything he does for our family but I MISS HIM and sometimes I feel like I am competing w/ his stupid job for his time and attention and its just really tiring. I don't want to be #2 anymore!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Jul. 15, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I feel the same way sometimes. I know it isn't forever because he's working on growing his business right now. And I know in his eyes it's all to take care of us. i just tell myself to hold on, it won't be forever.
    Tammycakes

    Answer by Tammycakes at 7:06 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • It doesn't sound like you are competing at all. He's doing all this work to provide for you and his children. He doesn't have a choice. I know it sucks, but you have to deal with it. Make sure that you are getting at least two date nights with him a month, alone, no kids. That will definitely help.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 2:17 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • You should sit back and be happy that he is doing what he should be doing. You married him regarless of knowing he had a past life. Well hate to break it to you, but that was a priority before you came along that he gave a promise to but it didn't work out. Put yourself in his past life shoes because one day you may be his past also.
    My advice to women is don't get involved with a man with past baggage that hasn't been unpacked. If you do then that was a choice you made and have to live with for as long as it takes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I feel like I have been there before except fore the allamoney stuff. I did all the wrong things for a while and then I realized that with my husband the decision to come home earlier had to be his. In order for it to be his then I had to make sure that he felt happy and loved and in his castle whenhe came home. If I made it a living HELL then why would he want to be there for me and the kids. Working would be more fun no matter how horrible it was. The other thing I found out was if I knew he was going to be late I took that time to have a party time with the kids. A time to do something special as a family like watch a videao or eat a special dessert or make a craft ect. It made the time pass a lot faster. Also I sometimes got them all played out outside and then put them to bed early so that I could have some time to be reading or taking a bath ect. Make the best of it and it will pass too! God Bless!
    GarlicMom

    Answer by GarlicMom at 4:14 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • WOW A MAN THAT IS SO CAREING FOR HIS FAMILY SWEETY THATS AWASOM!
    AND YES YOU NEED HIM I GET THAT BUT HE DOES COME HOME AND THATS A GOOD MAN.
    YOU JUST NEED TO TALK TO HIM AND WHEN YOU DO HAVE HIM HOME SPEND MORE TIME WITH EACH OTHER.AND VACATION TIME GET A SITTER AND HAVE IT BE JUST THE 2 OF YOU OR EVEN GET A SITTER AND SPEND A DAY ALONE TOGRTHER.MAKE IT FUN!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Jul. 15, 2008