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Am I a bad person for feeling this way?

I have a question for you ladies. I'm not the type of person that likes just about everybody. There are some people that I do dislike immensley. I don't want to say the word hate, because it's a very strong word. I dislike these people because they have hurt me. There are only 3. When someone asks me how much I dislike that person I tell them this: "Let me put it this way, if I saw them on fire on the side of the road, I wouldn't give them a drink of water let alone call 9-1-1." I do get surprised looks. It's only those 3 people I feel that way about. My question is, am I a bad person for feeling this way about them? Am I the only one that can dislike someone that much?

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Asked by JLee07 at 12:30 PM on Dec. 31, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (19)
  • nothing wrong with feeling like that lots of people do

    Answer by symle456 at 12:34 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I don't think your a bad person. We all have people we dislike. If they don't want to the know the answer, they shouldn't ask the question.

    Answer by dle4125 at 12:34 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Lots of people feel that way I'm sure. I don't think any of us would not help someone though if that were to happen.

    Answer by Christine0813 at 12:35 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • There are two things I know. One its ok to be hurt and angry, but we are not to sin in our anger. Another is the Jesus told us to love our enemies. Love is an action (read 1 Cor 13). So lets say they were on fire (hopefully that will never happen) you should risk your life to try and save them, even if you do not have that "love" feeling for them. Also, its so easy to get hurt by someone who was close to you and has hurt you deeply. I have been there. The closer they are to you the more damage they can do. You need to forgive them. Not necessarily for them, but for you. Its not good for you to hold on to this hurt and resentment. Also, if you can get the book "The bait of Satan" by John Bevere. Its about overcoming offenses.

    Answer by Precious333 at 12:35 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I think you're being a bit harsh aren't you? Yes I too have people that I ABSOLUTELY DISPISE because they have not only hurt me, but my children and family as well and yes I have even said such things. But then I realized that feeling this way only makes me hold onto the anger and to me, I'd rather let it all go instead of spending my precious time on someone who is truly not worth it. Not only that, but karma will come back around to them eventually. I know you're familiar with the phrase, "kill them with kindness". Believe me, both work!!!!!!


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:41 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Life is too short to despise anyone on this earth. When there is anyone who completely annoys (or has hurt) me - I try to see things from their point of view and understand them. It makes it easier to forgive. I may not want to be friends - but at the very least I can understand why they might be a pain.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:48 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Let me correct my answer. I shouldn't have said you're being harsh and I apologize for it. What I should have said was that no, you're not a bad person or wrong for feeling that way because I think all of us do or have at one point or another. And I agree with Precious333 that forgiving such people not only helps us heal, but makes us stronger. And again, I apologize if my previous answer came off rude.


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:49 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • nope, your not being unreasonable or the only one that feels that way.
    if everyone like each other in this world, it'd be a pretty boring world!
    I myself have at least 2 -3 people that i absolutly dispise! these are my inlaws, i dont talk about them but i once said to my hubby "i hate your sis so much that i'd be the reason of our divorce if we ever had one and it wouldnt even be your fault" i think of those horrible situations that i could put them in also like you have and would i save them? sadly probably not, but its what they did to me in the past, it didnt come natually, sorry to say.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 12:51 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • It is normal to fantasize that the person who has hurt you is put in a situation where you are the one who has the upper hand. My bet: no you would not just let them burn. But you probably have good reason to think those thoughts as well as good reasons to not want them around you. I hope they are not around you. Basically it is like this: you are in charge of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors (including what you say). If someone asks you what you think of one of those three people, you are in control of what you say. If you don't want the looks or don't like how they judge you - then NOT saying what you think and feel is probably in your best interest. You can be truthful while preserving your image, "I don't really care about that person or to talk about them. It causes me to think awful things." Enough said.


    Answer by frogdawg at 1:03 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I have people that have hurt me immensely as well. I think we all do. Remember one thing...hurting people hurt people. This life is way to short to spend it despising, hating or being angry at anyone. Its okay to protect yourself from them in the future, but forgiveness is for YOU, not for them. Unforgiveness can actually make you physically sick depending on the severity of it. Let it go now. You dont have to wait until you feel forgiveness-like feelings or in the mood. Just say out loud that you forgive so and so for so and so which made me feel so and so and then put it out of your mind. This is true freedom from that person. Good luck.

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:24 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

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