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I'm not comfortable having sex with my husband? Anyone else?

My husband and I have been together for 8yrs, married 4. We have 2 children ages 4 and 2. Our sex life is nonexistent! For a while we didn't initiate sex with each other at all. Lately, he's interested in getting some, and for some reason, im very uncomfortable. Not to mention I just don't have the desire to have sex with him. It's a very weird dynamic. Does anyone else have this problem?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Dec. 31, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • it is hard after a long sexual break for women and some men, because of the lack of intimacy. u need to work on that part and hopefully the sex will come more naturally. try some romance w/o focusing on the sex. good luck.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 2:58 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I'm in the same exact position. He is wanting to get some now and lately I want nothing to do with him. Ever since I had our 10 month old daughter I haven't wanted sex. I know part of my reason is I'm scared to get pregnant again and the big thing is I just don't feel as sexy as I used to. I have talked to him about this and some things have gotten better. Going on dates and having some alone time just us helps. Hope everything works out.

    Answer by kmstanfo at 3:03 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • thats sad :(

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • It is hard to wear different hats but as a Wife and Mother that wants to stay married we need to be able to wear be able to be a wife, a girlfriend & lover and mother. The greatest gift you one can give their children is for Mom and Dad to have a good relationship in and out of bed cause one thing does affect another.

    For women it is a mental thing..try to think about all the things you appreciate about him and the fact he is attracted too and wants to have sex with you and that he is choosing you over someone else trying to keep the marriage intact. When I feel like that I start with the above and then just start touching, hugging and kissing during the day and snuggling in bed more regularly. This will take the awkward feelings away....and warm you up to having sex again.....

    Hey.... New Year... New beginnings!


    Answer by cyber_mom at 3:16 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Cyber_Mom...I agree! We have been married almost 12 years and we have 4 kiddos. After the first few I started feeling awkward and uncomfortable with having sex with DH. I figured out it was me trying to be everything. It wasn't working. By the time he got home from work, I was tired and grumpy so I would fix dinner, put the kids in bed, and hide basically. I had to do a mental check and think about what I was doing to myself and him. It's just as much a mental thing for us females. A good breeze will not turn us on, but I have discovered, like you, that touching, snuggling, and kissing throughout the day really does help :) We also talked about how I wasn't feeling as sexy and as pretty as I was before I had kids and he tries to help lift me up with compliments and extra hugs and kisses. We also call each other once a day and text when we on my to-do list? Naughty

    Answer by tandknix at 3:55 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • i had an issue after i had my second, because im very self consious. i always have been, even though im not a "big girl" . my hubby is still working on convincing me that he LOVES MY BODY, i dont think ill ever get it. at least the sex is good haha. good luck

    Answer by jbirchard at 3:56 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Its not that i dont love mine or anything.... I just dont want sex... I dont want him rubbing around on my body... I really cant enjoy sex unless iv been drinking... I hear mama... Sex in color sucks!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • LOL. Yes, after children sex is different. No longer spontaneous when your worrying about "MOM" being screamed in the backround.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Some times prorities change and sex goes on the back burner. Spice it up and get it back because men like sex. If they don't get it at home, they may look some where new. Good luck and Happy New Year.

    Answer by Tetona at 4:03 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • sex it self will turn you on so as nike would say just do it lol....... I could go forever without it and if i dont just do it i dont want to but 9once i do it once its like a flood gate lmao and i want it like 3 or 4 times a day...... I personally think the psychial part of a relationship is very important and when my man and i go without it for a while i start to worry about why we arent and i get more insercure because of it, but some times i am just not in the mood and dont feel like taking the time for him to get me in the mood and then we go a week without it and then i could care less either way and i have to just force myself to do it lol then i want it more lol

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 4:37 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

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