Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Important Quest. Single couple, preg. and adoption

My son is not married to a young lady who is preg with his child. Both are very responsible, and come from middle income and also quality families. They are in their mid 20's. She wants to adopt this baby to her sister who is married. (note: she and her sister both suffer with a tumor disease, and their father passed away with the same in his late 30's early 40's.) My son isn't sure he wants the baby to be adopted, and he feels the need (obviously) to financially support the child. Any advise? Baby is due in 8 weeks or less.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Dec. 31, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Well just like he would, She would have to prove everything she says about him in court. And If he has a good job and obviously wants to help with the baby chances are he could get 50/50. It would look good for him if he could prove that she originally wanted to give the baby up for adoption tho if it does turn into a custody battle. But he really should get a lawyer now and file for a paternity test to be done as soon as the baby is born. I really wouldnt wait any longer if I were him. Good luck to you both, its nice to hear about a good upstanding man who WANTS to help with the child instead of hearing about the deadbeats ;) Too bad this girl cant see how lucky she is!

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 9:22 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Sounds like your son wants to keep the baby. Help him find a way to do it.

    Answer by feesharose at 3:44 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • If he wants to keep the baby than he should! She cannot give the baby up without his consent, and if he can support and care for the child than he should. Being a single father would be tough I am sure but worth it. Good luck to him!

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 3:46 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • yes he will regret it and will eat at him everyday


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Additional info: Mother also is avoiding contact with my son. He has made regular attempts thru out the preg. as soon as he was made aware of the preg. (4 mo. along). She works for an upscale lawyer who I would think is coaching her. She struggles with verbal bashing of my son (although they were originally good friends, not dating, tho.) and he is a low key person. The preg. is prob. excellerating the illness. And she is obviously and understandably angry, but she doesn't return calls to my son and has avoided telling anyone who the father is, while our families have dozens of common friends. My son wants to make it right and is attempting to, including owning up. But he won't battle her. She has said NOT to see a lawyer, altho we know we should soon. Can she make a case to have him voided so that she adopt the child out?

    delete your answer

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Additional info: Thanks for being patient with all the info. This young mother wants to adopt the child to her sister who also has the disease, OR her own parents, but she has stated that he could not have the child in any form or fashion b/c she believes that children should not be moved pillar to post, and we understand, but we feel its not right for the child to not know who his father is, unless the child were to be adopted completely out of the family (to an unknown family.) My son and this young lady are in the same small town so my son would run-upon this child regularly, and they have the same friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • more....My point being, she will continue to hold all the rights and priviledge of relationship with the child, while my son has none. That isn't fair to the child nor my son who intends on financially supporting the child. But can this mother make a case against my son? He does not use drugs, drink, has had the same employment for almost 15 years and is stable.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Tell your son to contact an attorney. Don't allow him to give up on his baby. She can't give the baby up for adoption w/o his permission. And tell him to contact the local Social Services to find out about the Birth Father Registry, they HAVE to look there before they can adopt the baby out. But, if he goes to court NOW, then he can put a hold on any custody arrangements she has for this child. He has to rights to refuse to allow his baby to be given up for adoption. And just because the GFs sister is married doesn't give her anymore leeway in court, contact an attorney now. And make him fight for his baby.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 4:09 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • tell him to contact a lawyer ASAP, and he needs to file an injuction right away stating she can not give the baby up without a DNA test done first other wise she can lie and say she doesnt know who the father is and do whatever she wants to, and if this deadly diesease runs in her family whos to say the sister is going to be around when the child is 10?? I would tell him he has the support of his family and whether this girl was a friend or not he needs to stand up for his rights when it comes to this child, there are so many dead beat dads out there that wouldnt give this a second look she should be thankfull that he cares and wants to be there

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 4:28 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • Get an attorney NOW like yesterday, he obviously doesn't want to adopt the baby out and wants to be there he needs to enforce his fatherly rights!!!

    Answer by hautemama83 at 4:29 PM on Dec. 31, 2008