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How do you get your 20 month old to STOP smacking when he gets upset

When he gets mad or angry when i dont let him do something or take something away, he hits me or whoever is dicipling him. I have tried time out, spanking, and talking. What do I do?

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Asked by hotmomma403 at 3:12 PM on Jul. 15, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • boys are thankful hes not a biter.
    you just have to keep at it. eventually he will get the idea that every time he hits he has to go to time out.

    Answer by laneanwalkermom at 3:29 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • Allow them to be individuals. Don't always ask them to do everything together and don't always refer to them as a group. They are fighting for independence and personality. Give it to them. Make sure each one knows what they are best at and that it makes them unique.

    Answer by countrymom at 4:06 PM on Jul. 15, 2008


    Answer by bossrenee at 5:24 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • My son does the same thing! He is 19 months and he doesn't get his way he will hit or bite. Spanking do not work for my son, he just hits me back and we'll go back n forth. I've taken to grabbing his arm when he takes a swing at me and that makes him mad but I'll tell him not to hit me in a VERY stern voice, and he'll just cover his face and start to cry more. I've heard that boy will hit and fight back with anything that makes them mad, and that they grow out of it, but until then you just have to assert your self and stick with what ever discipline you chose.

    Answer by Amber1109 at 7:40 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • Don't hit him! He's learned that it's okay to hit when you're mad. When he hits, sit in a chair with him on your lap and hold his arms. Talk in a calming voice, and tell him it's not okay to hit. When he calms down, you'll feel his little body relax.

    It's important to remember that YOU are the adult. Don't let him get the best of you by making you angry too. You have the chance to form the behavior patterns that are going to take him though life. spanking only teaches him that hitting is okay.

    Answer by lawmom623 at 7:41 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • This is one of those no-win things that they will eventually outgrow. I don't believe in the spanking part simply because if he can't, why can you? They don't understand the chain of command I suppose. I have 6 kids and they were all different, BUT when they did do that...hit or bite, I would say OWIE really loud and "cry" because they hurt me. Sound silly, I know, but you "should" get a look of shock and then even a hug from them. Kinda like "shaming" them into it...good luck, but just be mindful that "this too shall pass" GOOD LUCK!!

    Answer by Mschae at 12:44 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

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