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Would you divorce your husband even though you still loved him?

I am in a dilemma. I love my husband to death but our marriage is not working, our home is dysfunctional and I hate to live this way. I hate to give my kids this memory of a childhood. We are in counselling but its not working. I want to leave but loving him makes it so much harder. What would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Dec. 31, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • i used to feel sad about being alone cuz im very clingy but now i find that being alone is when im allowed to be myself and feel how i feel with no judgment. but i also regret to tell you honey, i too have yet to actually come to terms with the fact my marriage may be over. it takes time but if you can see a friendship with him, if you can see a split from him be a non judgemental calm and ok thing for the both of you, then thats all you could ask for. the light at the end of the tunnel for me is hubby is my best friend but only acts like that during our time apart. i look foward to having a friendship with him and hope to someday have someone to be in love with again

    Answer by stefirose22 at 5:15 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • If you are not happy, and it's not getting better then I'd say, yes leave. Good Luck. I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you make. =)


    Answer by LyTe684 at 9:01 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • You could try seperation but stay married.. jus get a break from each other for awhile..

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 9:04 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I agree with Lyte. And don't worry about the kids they'll be fine. My parents didn't want to seperate because of us kids. They were miserable, fought all the time, were angry all the time and started taking it out on us kids. They day the wound up getting divorced was the happiest day of my life. So you're kids will be fine. it'll be rough at first i'm sure, but they'll grown to understand,

    Answer by smnice at 9:05 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I have heard this from a number of women that have been in your situation, and (no offense), but have you asked yourself what exactly do you LOVE about this man who doesn't make you happy?

    Love is a feeling, and it should be positive! I think maybe you have other issues that are clouding your judgment for why you want to stay when you know in your heart you want to leave. If you address THOSE issues with a trained therapist, I think you will better understand why you have mixed feelings.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:06 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I left but mine was an abusive relationship

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:11 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • When you are with someone, you are going to love them usually and you will always have them in your heart, but if it is not working...then it is not working. If you are unhappy,then you shouldnt be with him.

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 9:19 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • I kind of know what you mean. Loving someone isn't supposed to hurt. That is how I look at it at least. I am not sure if I would leave or stay, so many things would factor into my choice. Best of luck to you.

    Answer by hionlife at 9:25 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • First before loving him love yourself. After that's happened then love your children because they need more care than your husband even though your relationship with him is taking your time away from yourself and your kids. First and always love yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Dec. 31, 2008

  • you may love him, but are you sure he loves you. And like some of the others said, why do you love him so much if your so unhappy. Definately seperate for a while and see how that works, but i'd hate for you to stay in a relationship because you love him, especially if he doesn't love you in return. I'm going threw this with my sister right now. She loves her husband but he has told her he doesn't love her anymore, and has kicked her and they're son out of the house and she won't believe it yet, but he's already dating someone else. So we're just trying to help her get threw it and over him because she's so much better than that. Good luck, and if you believe in god, he will lead you in the right direction.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Dec. 31, 2008