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What would you do...?

Ok this is kinda a long store and question so ill try to keep it simple.... My sister stopped talking to me and my mom because that what her husband wanted... My mom is heart broken because this is her oldest child and she cant see her grandson... My mom has many health problems and is getting worse as time goes on. I don't want my sister to regret it but everything i try seems not to work.. I don't care if my sis talks to me but i really think she should talk to her own mother. any suggestions are welcome....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 AM on Jan. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I was in a marriage like that. I was forbidden to see or talk to my family because my husband did not approve of them. If I talked to them he would go ballistic on my ass and make my life miserable.

    I was so hurt and let him control me for several years.. 14 of them actually. I wanted to be a part of my family but was scared to leave my husband.

    I have no advice but I am sure that your sister is hurting badly on the inside. There is nothing more important than family.
    girlneffy

    Answer by girlneffy at 1:30 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Geez thats hard.. I wish I can offer some good advice. All I can say is let it go.. I know its easier said than done but one day hopefully your sister will see through this ignorance of her no good husband...
    BEXi

    Answer by BEXi at 1:30 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I think you need to ask her how she is going to feel when your mother passes away and she has to live with the way she treated her.. let her know that have known her and been with her alot longer then sum man..
    MiSs.SmOkEy

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 1:31 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • This is hard. Why would she listen to her husband? Was he insulted or slighted?
    4theLoveofLovey

    Answer by 4theLoveofLovey at 1:31 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • There is not much you can do, I'm afraid. It sounds like he has a lot of control over her, and unless she comes to her senses and decides she wants a change, nothing will make her change her mind. I know this must be a hard situation for all of you. I hope things work out for you.
    Rebecca7708

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 1:32 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • no he is just an jerk... he thinks that my mom was tring to take her away from him...my mom and sis were very close... and i mean very close like BF not mother and daughter.... I spend every day with my mom and she cries because my sis isnt there with us
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • You know what. All I needed was support when I was in a similar situation like your sisters.

    With your mom, maybe you can try to reach her and let her know that if she needs help in ANY way that you are there to do what you can.

    She may want to leave the jerk and get her family back but not have an outlet to do so. She may feel as if her family won't help her since she has been forced to shun them out of her life.
    girlneffy

    Answer by girlneffy at 1:37 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • thank you all for all ur help and opinions... i have been trying to talk to her on myspace so that he jerk of a husband dont know about it...lol... anyways thank you and i hope u all have a great new year
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • my husband's brother and his wife are much the same way. but for different reasons.. my in law is really rude (to everyone) and she doesn't want anymore of it... just be supportive of your mom. once in a while, remind your sis that you will always be there for her and that your mother misses and love her, but do it quietly. if it's an abusive situation, hopefully she gets help. talk to a women's shelter or YWCA for help with this.
    mrsmostafa

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 5:18 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I was engaged to a man who (after becoming engaged) "decided" he didn't like my mother, and HIS mother didn't like her either (no particular reason), and she was NOT welcome in his mother's home or allowed to attend family events! And I, and only child, was supposed to say, "oh, okay?!"

    I refused to listen to him, and two months later, I had moved out, ended the engagement, and never looked back! Many men are VERY insecure, and become controlling, if their wives/SO ALLOWS them! They will "test" their wives/SO by seeing how far they will go for them. They will "chip" away at a woman's wants/desires until their is nothing left.

    Make sure your mother and sister KNOW that you will ALWAYS be there for her, and if/when she wants to come back to the family, you will BOTH be there with open arms!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

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