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I am an ICU nurse and i have worked the last five days in a row. by the time i got home tonight, my throat was sore, i had a terrible cough, felt awful, and could not speak. my hubby and i had planned to spend the night together. however, the neighbors were over by the time i got home so i went upstairs to shower and felt too bad hang out with guests. my husband was upset that his NYE was ruined and went out with the neighbors. he's been out all night. I am really hurt and upset. this would never have been cool if HE was sick and I went out. can anyone help me out here?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:09 AM on Jan. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I know what you mean i went though the same thing last year during superbowl i was very mad because our heat was messed up it was pouring the snow and the house was filled w/ black smoke.The longer i've been married the more i relize not all the same rulz apply to women and men and it's not fare and we put up w/ way,way ,way more crap than they ever thought about.If i was you i would go back to bed try to make yourself feel better,take some over the countier sleep med. to make u sleep better.Tommrow i would talk about it w/ him for sure.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • you know all i can say is that is how guys are.(well most of them anyways...he love you of course but he just wasn't thinking . sometimes they get like that they think things are okay when clerly they arent and they expect different things from us ...don't be to upset just take this time to rest relax in ahot bath

    Answer by amiyamom at 4:27 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Uhh.. Where's the respect for you if he's just heading out with the neighbours??
    My DH and I are just sitting around tonight, no plans at all.. I'm on my laptop and he's on his. It's cool. We have kids now. We don't need to go out and get hammered just because it's New Year's. We have a little thing called responsibilities.

    Answer by Liyoness at 4:34 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • What is he - 5?

    That's wrong and wrong and wrong - he's being a JERK.

    Sorry - lazy boys don't get excuses in 2009!

    I am sorry.

    Answer by Wimsey at 4:35 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • we are, too, a son who is four and alseep in my bed... he wanted to make momma feel better so he and his monkeys went to be with me.. i woke up @230 b/c hubby left the TV on too loud when he went out and it eventually woke my tired sick ass up...:(

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • and it's not that i didn't want to hang out with him, I am sick!! feel awful. :P and i have to work the next two nights... i guess i just hoped he'd stay home and take care of me and celebrate someother night... like my first day off!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • It sounds like your New Year's resolution should be to tell your husband to grow UP.

    He's not a child - he HAS a child.

    He's an ADULT and a PARTNER and you should not allow him to treat you as anything else.

    In his defense, if you don't expect grown-up behavior from him when you are well, he's hardly going to turn into Marcus Welby.

    I hope that you are able to see some growth in him - he sounds terribly young and dumb. I hope that your son is protected from the drama and has more positive male role models. I hope that 2009 brings you happiness and HEALTH because your job as a nurse is very important.

    Answer by Wimsey at 5:40 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • thankyouu soo mucch "wimsey". i needed to hear something like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Honey, you gotta learn to pick your battles and on others, turn the other cheek. It's ok to go out with or without each other. It's not ok for him to minimize your needs, while maximizing his or others. Don't allow anyone to push your buttons, define or judge you. Reclaim the judge's gavel and reach a new understanding about what is acceptable or not acceptable with you. In order to do this, you gotta gut level honest with yourself and start establishing some boundaries and consequences.

    Answer by Ewadun at 9:41 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • It's one of those things that happens when we have expectations and they aren't met. Neither of you will get too far if you stew about what the other did. It would have been nice if he stayed home and would have benn nice if you had gone out. It didn't work out that way. Next year, plan ahead so you are both able to enjoy. I think you were run down from working so much.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:41 AM on Jan. 1, 2009

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