Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I need advice....

I am having tubal reversal surgey in January and my new MIL confronted me today ( we are on vacation at her house) and said that she thought we should wait to try to concieve and that she thinks we are moving too fast. this is a 2nd marraige for hubby and I and currently we have 5 kids between us. We are financially stable and ready to have an addition to our family. My feelings were hurt and I am unsure how to take what she is saying. I know she is concerned and means well. Hubby says not to worry, it is our together and married married a short time our bond and love for eachother is eternal. We have been together for a year and 4 months and married 7 months. We are both responsible adults and know what's best for our family. I need advice.. anyone??

Answer Question
 
thomaspartyof7

Asked by thomaspartyof7 at 5:04 PM on Jan. 1, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • It is none of her business. She can have a opinion but realy should keep it to her self. But you know moms easier said than done. lol
    Ann7227

    Answer by Ann7227 at 5:09 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • That is up to you and your hubby when you want to start to try for a baby. I would say go for it.
    mommytobrooke

    Answer by mommytobrooke at 5:18 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I was almost in tears.. here hubby and I have been a roller coaster of excitement the last few days.. since we scheduled the surgery, running around gettiny my pre-op labs done etc.... and then to get here and have her say that.. it really brought me down. We have been so excited and had hoped that she too would be excited as well I was really hoping to have her support along our journey. Having surgery to have my tubes reversed is a major big step for me, and dreaming of having that sweet little blessing in my arms makes it all worth it.
    thomaspartyof7

    Answer by thomaspartyof7 at 5:19 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Your going to be judge by alot of people. Just don't let any of it get to you.
    Ann7227

    Answer by Ann7227 at 5:20 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Thanks. :) We both are ready for this step- my family is excited.. they see us all of the time and know we are ready. I can imagine that since my MIL is far away she would be concerned because she doesn't realize how close we are.
    thomaspartyof7

    Answer by thomaspartyof7 at 5:23 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Typical MIL!!! Always in someone's business! I say do what u want. The two of u obviously have it together enough to make this decision. So do it!!! Be the Brady Bunch!
    TishaLicious420

    Answer by TishaLicious420 at 9:22 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • We are trying for #4 . And I'm scared to even mention to my MIL because she always says we have our hands full. But if we have money and are ready then I guess I shouldn't worry what she thinks. She has 9 kids. My family there are 5 kids. My family is happy. But my husband says he doesn't care what she thinks. lol But I need to be more like him. lol Good Luck !!!
    Ann7227

    Answer by Ann7227 at 9:51 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • All I can say is that you've totally followed the typical "rules" of procreation in marriage - be married a minimum of one year, and be financially able to care for the new baby. If you two are ready, then go for it! It sounds like your MIL needs one of you (probably your DH, as it's his mother) to sit her down and tell her that you appreciate that she loves you enough to say something, but that the decision has been made, and you do not want any negative input in your family decisions. Then remind her of how much fun a new grandbaby will be! :) If she continues to be negative, then you need to let her know that she is hurting your relationship with her, and that if she wants you to continue spending time with her, she needs to keep her concerns to herself. Just remember to be loving and kind in your communication with her - in all likelyhood, she is just concerned for your family's wellbeing. I know my MIL sure is! :) *hugs*
    sometimes-hope

    Answer by sometimes-hope at 2:03 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN