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CAN YOU HELP ME GIVE ADVICE TO A TEENAGE BOY WHO IS DATING A GIRL WHO I DONT APPROVE OF?

THE GIRLS MOTHER DOESNT HAVE RULES LIKE I DO AND THE GIRL HAS HAD SEX BEFORE. BUT IT DOESNT SEEM TO BOTHER MY SON HE SAYS THEY ARE IN LOVE

 
LOST4

Asked by LOST4 at 5:23 PM on Jan. 1, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (16)
  • I have to agree that if you try to break them up it will only make things worse. Kids will find away and you can not be with your son every minute of every day.

    I think you have to keep the communication with your son open and let him know how you feel. You also have to trust that you have taught him well enough to know right from wrong. I believe you also need to keep the peace because you are going to want him to talk to you about things. You are going to want to know what is going on without him feeling that you are prying.

    Try offering to have them hang at your house. Tell them these are the rules and hopefully they will follow them.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:07 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • how old is this boy? and if they care for eachother theres nothing you can do from them not seeing eachother
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 5:24 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • i agree, if you tell him no, its just going to make the situation worse. how old are they?
    jbirchard

    Answer by jbirchard at 5:26 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • How old are they?
    How long have they been together?
    Mummytomore

    Answer by Mummytomore at 5:52 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • of course he's not going to care she's had sex.... it means they'll have sex....
    Sandiii

    Answer by Sandiii at 6:35 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Sounds like my problem in a way. I am hoping she grows tired of him soon. I was tired of her a loong time ago. I hope you get some good advice because I am facing the same problem & I KNOW my son is having sex w/ her (my other son told me). I just pray I dont get to be a grandma before 40.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • TRUST ME trying to separate them will only make your son angry and draw them closer together. If your son likes this girl, he will either go behind your back or let you know whats going on. If you feel the girls mother does not have much supervision at her house I would recommend allowing the girl over your house. This way you can pay attention to what is going on. How old is your son and this girl?

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 7:56 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Don't try and separate them, he will more likely start spending MORE time with her. I think you should just let it see how it pans out, obviously it depends on how old they are, but if he is 16 or around that age, then I think that if she is a girl that you don't approve then in the end, if she is as bad as you think, your son will realise it too. You've got to let him make his own mistakes as much as you want to protect him.
    tripletmomtobe

    Answer by tripletmomtobe at 7:39 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Forbidden fruit tastes way sweeter. Get to know the girl, give her a chance. Don't be stubborn about it but don't give him a long leash either. Have her over your house so you can keep an eye on them. DON'T FORBID him to see her though, ever seen Romeo and Juliet?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Depends how old your son is. If you have taught your son your values and been upfront about the consequences of premarital sex and teen sex, you have done your job. You may set limits with him in your home and speak to her parents about the limits you would like set on them as a couple. Speak to him and her together as well. Even better if your husband/his father will be doing it with you there. After that, you pray, wish, hope that they do the right thing. We can only influence them at this point. Once you let him know in a respectful way that you do not think this is a good choice in a girlfriend and why, you need to let go. In fact, make it your business to have them over often so you get to know her better and keep your son around. Make your home a welcoming place for them both. If you ever make him choose between you and a girl, you will be on the losing end, Mom.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:02 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

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