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Husband's ex looked him up on Facebook... on my mind. Advice?

So, my husband had a friend since he was 14 that he dated for about a month -- before we got together. He did have sex with her. (He was 23 ish when they hooked up) After he moved from Ohio to Texas she called drunk telling him about some thong underwear she got. When we went up to visit family in Ohio after our daughter was born, we were around friends and she was there.. she was bitter and pouty the entire time. When our daughter cried she said, "I would cry too if (husband) was MY Dad." Basically - bitter, hateful, bitch. Sooooo we haven't seen or heard from her in two years.. today she "friended" him on Facebook. He didn't reply/accept, just told me. How would you Moms handle this? I trust hubby completely, I just don't know how comfortable I feel with this inappropriate, bitter woman keeping up on our lives? Willing to listen to advice.

 
Serafyna

Asked by Serafyna at 5:39 PM on Jan. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (19 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • i would tell my husband if he doesnt want her in his life then he should politely messaged her back and tell her he is happy with his life and has no room for her in it (i would make it clear to my hubby this is how i feel about it as well) lol
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 6:19 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • i wouldnt add her and jus ignore her.. most likley shes jus jealous that isnt her that he is with
    MiSs.SmOkEy

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 5:41 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Basically, what she is trying to do is see what is going on with him and the rest of you guys...I dont really think she is intrested in really being "friends" online with him. I would tell him to ignore her request and not bother with her and explain to him how it makes you feel. You dont like her and for such and such reasons. Im sure he would understand-If he already doesnt know... The same thing happened to my husband and he told me about it and he ignored it..on his own. He knows it is innappropriate to be friends and have contact with Ex's.
    MaiasMommy619

    Answer by MaiasMommy619 at 5:45 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I would ignore it even though it would be on my mind and bug the hell out of me. If you cant let it go then just go in and send her a message from "him" letting her know that he wnats nothing to do with her.
    asholan_07

    Answer by asholan_07 at 5:45 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I trust hubby completely, I just don't know how comfortable I feel with this inappropriate, bitter woman keeping up on our lives? Willing to listen to advice.


    I think that says a lot.  Think about this, that you're the one who is now married to him and has a child with him.  She's probably jealous, and maybe just a troublemaker.  Some ex's like drama, like as if they want the current wife to know that they were around first.  Yeah, it's inappropriate, and it's immature.  So be the mature one (like you seem to be) and forget about it.  Maybe she'll get the hint and just go away. 

    CookieMom108

    Answer by CookieMom108 at 5:46 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Basically if you trust him then its his decision to make not yours. Hopefully he will just ignore her since she sounds like a drama starter, but if he doesnt then when he complains you can say then delete her.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:54 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry much about it. Let him make the decision whether or not to add her. If you trust him like you say you do, it shouldn't matter if she's a friend on facebook. I have exes on my myspace, and we hardly ever communicate on there. Just nice to see they are doing well. Maybe she regrets acting like a douche and wants to put it in the past.
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 6:39 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • If she wasn't so bitter/hateful, I'd say not a big deal. I look up some of my exes sometimes, not b/c I have any interest in rekindling anything or breaking up their marriages/relationships, but b/c I have nice memories of them and would like to see that they are doing well. But the bitter part sounds like maybe she's looking for an opening, maybe a status update that says "I'm mad at my wife" where she can slip in and try to mess things up.
    You trust him, though, and so I'd leave it up to him. That will show him you are the bigger person, and it will not only make him think twice about accepting, but also think twice before allowing any inappropriateness between them.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:53 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Well he told you about it so he must not be thinking much of it! Now as for keeping it on your mind Forget about it!(After you post as his default pic a loving photo of the two of you so obviously in love) She should get the hint after getting NO response at all, that is more to the point. The knowledge to her that she doesnt' even deserve an answer. LOL Have some fun with this since she thinks she is sooooooo unforgettable don't make a big deal about it to hubby that makes you look clingy and insecure. Be the opposite make a joke of it! If you have a facebook account to send him a message you are going to ride him like a wild mustang when ya get home and you sharpened your spurs! MEOW! :)
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 6:54 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Its only facebook. As long as your husband isnt talking to her to seeing her it shouldnt be a problem.
    Krystle21

    Answer by Krystle21 at 7:10 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

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