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2 Bumps

Babys dad help?

he says hes not ready for a realtionship right now, maybe after the baby is born. what should i say or do __-? im almost 7 mnths prego

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on Sep. 19, 2011 in Pregnancy

Answers (12)
  • Blue glass mama, if I knew the things I know now, thats what I woulda done. Shoulda Never acknowledged my daughters dad was the father, but I did cuz people were talkin crap. His family tried to be supportive, but it wasnt their job to do his. 8 yrs later and he still isnt a man/father. He owes $8000 in child support and sitting in prison cuz of drugs and stealing with another kid out there that mommy supports. Now Ive finally realized there are real men out there,something I didnt believe cuz of the people/losers I associated with. Take what you family has taught you about being a good parent,what to expect out of a man,and never LOSE that or life will be hurtful, more so then it has to be.
    Angelgurl13

    Answer by Angelgurl13 at 11:39 PM on Sep. 19, 2011

  • That is hard chicky! I am sooo sorry to hear that! Try and keep positive for yourself and the baby. Unfortunately with baby daddy, do your own thing, you have done it yourself this far! If he wanted a relationship with you before you got pregnant, he may still want one. This all me be a surprise for him and he may be really scared right now. Give him space, but don't let him tread on you. Times like this really show true colors. You are the one that needs affection, love, loyalty right now. He is being selfish and that is a bad sign honestly.
    MissConrad

    Answer by MissConrad at 4:21 PM on Sep. 19, 2011

  • ive played that game b4 & its extermely detrimental to you and the baby. he isnt gonna change his mind{not after hearing the heartbeat,not after seeing the ultrasounds,not after holding the baby,not after such-n-such months,ect} message me hun id love to talk with you about this. its a hard road alone but it can be done. i raised my daughter from day 1 bc her dad wasnt "ready" and honestly still isnt..shes two.
    bamamommy2009

    Answer by bamamommy2009 at 12:26 PM on Sep. 19, 2011

  • also don't even call him when the babys born call him after you leave the hospital, after all the birth certificate is complete, do not but him name on the birth certificate, you will get sole custody, he will have to take it to court to get any rights at all. If he wants a relationship he will do it.
    blue_glass_mama

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 11:09 AM on Sep. 19, 2011

  • IMake sure you know and keep the difference between your feelings about him...your relationship etc seperated from that of your son. As many others said, you cannot force a relationship and if he did comply to one, not really wanting to be in one..it'll be a nightmare for you and the baby. However, DO NOT LET HIM OFF of his responsibilities of being a Father! There is a difference and he needs to be there for the baby emotionally, financially and physically in life for his child! If he is a doucebag clear across the board who doens't even know if "he wants to be involved in the baby's life" blah balh balh..his loss, life will always be about him and you and the baby BOTH will be better of writing him out of your lives, expecting nothing and seriously not giving him second thought. If the issue only him not wanting a relationship, but willing to be a father, you can work with that. Good luck!
    Jeda624

    Answer by Jeda624 at 2:56 AM on Sep. 19, 2011

  • mostly men say dat day will help out wen da baby gts hur cuz day dnt really hve to do anithin til da baby gts hur
    angel895

    Answer by angel895 at 1:36 AM on Sep. 19, 2011

  • Is he under the age of 21? my dd did kind of the same thing, he took off when i was pregnant..Though he would come back around every so often no matter how much he would say he wanted to be with me/us and make it work, deep down he didnt or it would have worked from the day I got pregnant. It took me almost 5 years to realize the truth,so much time wasted,but that was just my situation,hope better for you
    Angelgurl13

    Answer by Angelgurl13 at 1:16 AM on Sep. 19, 2011

  • I am speaking for experience I have two kids I get no child support(the judge actually set it at zero) and I have not seen the father for years..... and I am okay with it!!!
    blue_glass_mama

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 1:00 AM on Sep. 19, 2011

  • Leave him alone, if he is going to act like that when you are pregnant whats going to happen when the kid is here??? Get over it, the best thing to do is to be independent and not count on him for anything that way if he does do something you can be suprised. Don't give the child his last name you will regret it later!!! Just give the kid your last name and sue him for child support!
    blue_glass_mama

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 12:58 AM on Sep. 19, 2011

  • He may not be ready for a relationship with you right now but he is about to be a daddy and the best thing for all of you is that you stay on friendly terms. He is 50% responsible for the baby. If he wants the child to grow up well than he needs to man-up and try. There doesn't need to be romance but friends is better for you both than nothing at all. You may need to accept that he is your friend now not your bf. But a real man takes care of his children and sticks around, nomatter if he still loves the mommy. My heart goes out to you but don't pressure him, if he makes the right choice than great, if not, you probably don't want that kind of influance around your baby anyway.
    Micheleh04

    Answer by Micheleh04 at 12:53 AM on Sep. 19, 2011

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