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How do I deal with a bully and mom in denial?

My very good friend and neighbor's son has been bullying my son. They are good friends, but she is in denial and says "boys will be boys". I know the difference between joking and being down right "mean". Her son has had a short temper and anger issues for a few years now, but it is getting worse. I have seen him hit & push his sister and mom in anger. He has manipulated her into believing that adults are lying, and he is telling the truth. She once implied my husband was lying, when he witnessed a particular incident. She state "that is not how Sam said it happened".

She is a good person, with a big heart. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but how her son is treating mine isn't right.

What do I do?

 
mominneed2009

Asked by mominneed2009 at 8:44 PM on Jan. 1, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Who is more important? Your friend or your child? If I had a good friend who had a son bulling my child....I would address it and that would be that. If I loose this friend so be it. I do not want to loose the trust of my child. My job is to protect my child. Not to try and protect my grown adult friend's feelings. "Boys will be boys" mentality is what makes fraternity boys think it is okay to rape girls partying at the fraternity house - just a few guys having some fun. That same mentality is what allows men to sexually harass or bully coworkers. They learn it from some where and it starts in childhood. No excuses Mom. Show your child it is not tolerated and that this bully doesn't get a pass from you just because your friends with his mother. The only person who gets special treatment from you is your child. Of course.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:45 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Maybe avoid the two kids hanging out... like make plans to hang out with her when your son as at another friends? Maybe they just spend to much time around each other.
    dtetz

    Answer by dtetz at 8:46 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I agree..keep your son out of her sons proximity. Also, if you have a video camera..keep it charged and handy. You may be able to catch him in the act and what can she say when proof is blowing up her skirt.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:54 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I agree with the above responses. Another option is to tell her son that he WILL respect your rules in your house and around your son, or he'll go home.
    3gymnastsmom

    Answer by 3gymnastsmom at 9:56 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • http://www.bullies2buddies.com/students.html

    My son was being bullied and teased at school. We read the manual from this website together and literally within a week everything was better. It helps give some insight into the bully's mind (low self-esteem, needing to put others down to feel better) and gives the child some tangible ways to handle it and respond when teased. There is a parent's version too that would be good for you.
    wendya78

    Answer by wendya78 at 1:06 PM on Jan. 2, 2009