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ARMY WIVES PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, ANSWER

So I was under the impression from my husband's recruiter that he would only be deployed about every 5-7 years, now I am told in a group that most soldier's deploy every other year... has this been the case for you? I honestly don't know that I am strong enough to handle that. Please tell me how long your spouse has been in and how many times he has been deployed and his rest time in between deployments... also his MOS would be helpful (unless that might breach OPSEC). Thanks in advance!

 
naomianne2

Asked by naomianne2 at 9:39 PM on Jan. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • My husband has been in the military now for 6 and half years and has done 2 tours in Iraq and is going on number 3 in feb. Sorry to say but there is a war going on he is going to be gone much longer trust me its notas bad as you thing. Join and FRG group while he is gone they help alot every base has one.
    dewey_scoles

    Answer by dewey_scoles at 9:17 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I'm not Army. I am a Navy brat and a 28 yr Navy wife. Mom of a soldier. Deployments are always subject to change. What causes the change? World conditions. We are currently engaged in a war zone. By virtue of that fact deployment rates and turn around times will be more frequent.. As a military wife the best thing you can do is support him unfailingly. Let him know everyday you love him and give him no reason to have to be distracted because he's worrying about you. You are stronger than you know. You CAN do it..if you WANT to.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:45 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Not an Army wife but I live in a town with lots of Marines...frequent deployments have become the norm since the Iraq war began. And we're still wrapped up in Afghanistan too.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:46 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • i was a navy wife, an army gf, and now im enlisting in the army myself. It is more likely that he will go out more often than 5-7 years, especiall yif hes married. to put it bluntly, the military doesnt put family first. and recruiters are great, but its a recruiters job to get you in, even if it means telling you what you want to hear. he needs to talk to his liason, if he hasnt already sworn in, if he has then his life is in their hands.
    its really tough, trust me, but if you married him, it must mean that you love him no matter what. hed be doing this for your family, and you need to support him. If you want to try, you can do it. Its not ALL that bad...
    soldiermom1986

    Answer by soldiermom1986 at 9:50 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Sorry to tell you but the recruiters lied to you. My husband was in the Active Army from 2002-2005. He was deployed twice in those three years. One was a 4 month deployed to Bosnia and the other was a 14 month deployment to Iraq. In between those deployments he was in the field training all the time. Once he was out we thought it was over. Nope, he still was in IRR for another 5 years. He was called back for a 12 month deployment after only being out for a little over a year. He just got back in the early part of 2008 and now he has joined the Reserves. Continued...

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 9:53 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Continued...One thing his deployments have taught me though is that I am stronger than I think I am. Every time I think that I can't make it though but somehow I do. I agree with the pp, support your husband. He needs you to be strong for him while he is pre, during, and post deployment. I strongly suggest getting involved in the FRG and talk the other ladies who have gone through this before. It will truly help. If you have any more questions about the army life, I will be glad to answer them. Just pm me if you need to.
    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 9:53 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I have severe abandonment issues though... I know that sounds like a lame excuse but I grew up with a paranoid schizophrenic father who asked for a box of nails in the divorce and not my brother and i... and then blamed the divorce on me even though I was only 18 months at the time, then he tried to kidnap me when I was three. I'm just so screwed up. We have a great relationship and I would always support him but I am not as certain as I was before that I want him to join... his goal was to go to the military's medical school in maryland and become an army doctor. That is his main goal is to be a doctor but with the economy and 3 kids with one on the way student loans are not happening for him to finish his school. He has not sworn in yet, we are speaking with his recruiter again tomorrow about what mos he will choose...
    naomianne2

    Answer by naomianne2 at 9:57 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • If he does decide to join then I would strongly suggest going to www.militaryonesource.org for when he deploys. They have counseling sessions available for military wives. You can do it by phone or set up an appointment at a local doctor's office.
    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 10:01 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I'm an Army Wife, and going through our first deployment, so I can't give you any expierence advise. But my husband enlisted July of 07, and was gone until Feb. (hes a helicoptor mechanic) we then moved here to WONDERFUL and FREEZING alaska. . .lol. . . and he was deployed soon after that. So i've had to really put up with being alone a lot. But i've learned that I can do a lot more than I thought. We have two boys, 2 and 4. I didn't think i'd be enough for them, but its opened up a lot more for us to do. I've decided to do preschool with my oldest, and i'm including my younger one in it too. I've also gotten involved with the FRG. it was hard at first. my husband was switched into a different troop right before he left, so i was very very new, but its a lot more comfortable now. I've met a lot of great women now and I am glad that i've had this experience. If you need to talk, or anything, message me.
    AliciaO

    Answer by AliciaO at 10:07 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • My dh wasn't in the Army, but the Marines. He was deployed twice in 3 years. Home for almost a year in between. The first time, I thought there was no way I could handle it. But I got through it. And got through it again the second time. It does get easier with time. Not that you don't miss him, but you learn to deal with it better I guess. If you really love him, you'll be able to get through it all! Good luck!
    mom2XandZ

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 11:17 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

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