Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 10 year old seems to be going through a very negative stage. Is this normal?

Answer Question

Asked by Mom_3FabKids at 10:16 PM on Jan. 1, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • sure... but be careful. check out his friends, his habits his may add fuel to his fire when he thinks your being intrusive, but its better to know whats going on in his life than to find out another way. he is entering that stage of independence and akwardness, so give him some lag, and maybe hell come around. if he seems depressed or overly defiant or has a COMPLETE turn around in attitude (negatively), bring it up with his doctor, there may be something hormonaly, beside the obvious pre-teen changes. should be normal though. just kepp an eye on him

    Answer by soldiermom1986 at 10:21 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Yes very. When my son started being very negative we started talking to him about all the positives in his life. We also told him if he did not have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.

    I think the key is to always stay on top of everything. Let your child know that you are their for them and try talking to their friends. I know that my son and his friends hang out at my house a lot so I talk to all of them. I find out what is going on at school with them and how they are liking it.

    I also talk to the parents. If my son is bothered by something I might ask one of the other parents if their child is experiencing the same thing.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:59 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I think it depends on their personality. I went through a stage with my 8 year old when he went around acting like he never got anything and even told his teachers and strangers at Chrstmas parties things that made him sound neglected and unloved. This lasted about nine months, we talked to him tried to explain to him why he should appreciate all that we give him and how much we love him etc etc etc. He had me to the point that I was afraid to ever discipline him because he was going around telling everyone how awful his life was.

    Answer by blowingsteam at 1:13 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • (cont.)
    Finally when nothing worked, we took away all of his toys and told him if he was going to tell everyone we gave him nothing and didn't love him, then that's what kind of parents we were going to be. Then we encouraged him to tell EVERYONE what horrible parents he had and we would in turn tell EVERYONE what a horrible son he is. At first he was like, yeah right, then after a few days of not giving him dessert (I said "remember the deal, son, I don't give you anything...") he realized we weren't bluffing, and slowly he is becoming a happy boy again, very affectionate and appreciative. Now we are working on solidifying his appreciation for a loving family and toys etc. and making him realize he should seek positive attention rather than negative.

    Answer by blowingsteam at 1:13 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • Yep..normal...I used to be that way...I think it is a defense thing so people won't hurt your feelings. It was 4 me. Peers say things and make fun, older siblings did too (in my case) so I became negative and ACTED like I didnt care, etc. cause if you already don't care then no one can hurt you. It makes since when youre a tween.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 6:03 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • My son started being neg.  after Katrina when we lost where we were living.  It is always....the house might burn, the water will come in when we are alseep and we will drown, and whenever he plays....the boats he plays with always sink or get bombed.  Is this part of the situation we were in due to Katrina? How long will it last?


    Answer by donnabuzybee at 12:28 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.