Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


I am almost 4 months pregnant with my fiance's baby and i trusted him a great deal. So i didnt think twice about him going out and staying with his friends last night and have some fun. Well i find out that he had sex last night with a girl and he doesnt even remember her name. and i love him so much and i dont know what to do anymore i am like heart broken and this just sucks none the less it is our 2 yr anerversiary last night. with makes it even worse. i feel like killing myself right now because i was so stupid to trust him. i feel like it is all my fault but i dont know what to do anymore. Please ppl help me i dont know what to do leave him stay with him and try to work this out i dont know i am so torn i feel like he ripped my heart out of my chest Advice please ?

Answer Question

Asked by BellaLane at 10:56 PM on Jan. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Its not your fault you didnt force him to have sex wit sum random girl.. I dont know.. maybe you could jus go stay wit sum family for awhile until you decide what you wanna do..

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 10:58 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • If I were in your situation, I would go to my parents house and stay with them and really think hard about what to do. I would not marry him by all means. But, since he is your baby's need to work something out when your child is born.

    Answer by GreekMama28 at 11:00 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • you certainly need to talk to him. his response will make a difference in your decision. this choice is truly up to you. but id say if you stay with him, do not let him go out of arms reach, cling to him, be up his ass until YOU feel ok with backing off. if he screwed up and is truly sorry, hell understand why you wont let him off the leash anymore. talk it out. on a lighter note, if he told you, then thats good! and if it was a one night ordeal, then it may not happen again. love is a gamble....

    Answer by soldiermom1986 at 11:01 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • plus, any good man would have stayed with you last night instead of going out with friends on your 2nd anniversary!!!

    Answer by GreekMama28 at 11:02 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • go to a friends or family's house for a few days to clear your head and work things out, you did nothing worng and its NOT your fault!!!!, but i thnk right now you are too emotional to make a rational decision, and you need to step back from this and try to clear your head a little
    i'm sorry you're going through this, momma
    good luck, you'll be in my heart and my prayers

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 11:04 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • Its certainly not YOUR fault HE was unfaithful. IMO I never think its a good idea to stay with a man who cheated. There are no good excuses for it.

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 11:07 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • LEAVE HIM! You dont deserve this!

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 11:09 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I think that if you just stay and try to make things work you are kind of setting yourself up for him to do it again. Get mad, leave, let him know how much he has hurt you. Let him know that you love him but you will not settle for all that. There was no reason for him to go out by himself. He should have taken you with him. Also was he drinking? That should be a no-no if he can't control it. Don't feel as if you should kill yourself. I seen your picture and you are beautiful. You have so much to live for. Don't settle for something dysfunctional. Now is the perfect time to tell him you want a GOOD relationship for the sake of your baby, or nothing at all. If he loves you, he will change. Good luck. I'll say a prayer for you. Don't give up ok. I promise things will get better.

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 11:10 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • I am so sorry that you are hurting so much. You have to decide if you will take him back, and certainly not into your bed until he is tested for STD's and HIV. It is a really rough situation for you. It would be a good idea to take steps to make sure you can live independently- that you are trained for a job and that you have a bank account in your own name. You are a strong woman and you will get through this. Don't let anyone pressure you to do something that you don't feel is right. (((hugs)))

    Answer by Bmat at 11:29 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

  • whoa! New year's or not why wasn't he with YOU on your anniversary? Don't kid yourself. What a total jerk.

    Answer by laadeedah at 11:39 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.