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Why can't people answer a question without being judgemental about the person asking it?

I asked a question earlier and although 2 of posters were helpful and non judgemental one person felt it necessary to tell me that I should just deal w/ my situation because I chose my husband and KNEW what it was going to be like to be with someone coming from his past. Doesn't the rule "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all" still apply when you're not a kid anymore? Gees!

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Asked by massage_mama at 6:01 PM on Jul. 15, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (26)
  • Some people are just judgemental. It's the risk you take by posting a question on a public site like this. You get the good with the bad.

    Answer by feesharose at 6:19 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • Soory on the internet that rule dosnt seem to apply. We are all just screen names to everyone else, and lots of people thinks it's ok to be rude and judgemental because you'll never be able to confront them face to face. Even sadder, is that golden rule does not seem to apply much in reality anymore either.

    Answer by vbruno at 6:23 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • If the truth hurts then it may be the truth.

    That's what I have heard before. And I thought about that and it may be true. Maybe we don't want to hear the truth so if we ask a question don't expect the answer to be sugar coated. Sometimes we need a wake up call and maybe a nutral party can tell you how it is in order to make you see what you can't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • Peronally, if I see a question like that and I don't like it, I don't answer! It's really very easy!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • Insecurity. We put people down and judge people because deep down we feel inadequate or insecure.

    Answer by MrsP777 at 6:46 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I think as the years have gone by common curtesy and decency has started to fade. It is sad, but true. What really bugs me is that these moms making all of those rude and hateful comments have kids they are a role model to. Hmmm....guess what the kids are going to grow up to be like?? Probably worse than the mom rasing them!! Kids these days have no respect for authority and we only have the parents to blame.

    Answer by titusmommy at 6:46 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • I don't think its being judgemental, it's saying how you see it. We can't expect people to be nice all the time. And asking a question you have to deal with what comes with it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • If you want to here nice nice then don't ask a question. Period Sometimes people read whatyou wrote and take it for what it is and if you are asking for advice then sometimes it may not be nice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • True, why ask a question if what your only waiting for is a nice reply. Maybe the reply wasn't being mean, maybe they were telling you the truth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

  • Some people are just so emotional they let it all out on places like this. Usually it is to make them feel better about themselves to go off on someone else. They key is, don't take things personal. However, it is true....If you ask a question don't be surprised by the answers you get. You might not get what you want to hear. Sometimes that could be a wake up call as well.

    Answer by goinginsane1 at 7:05 PM on Jul. 15, 2008

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