Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

does marrige get harder with time or easier??

 
MiSs.SmOkEy

Asked by MiSs.SmOkEy at 12:11 AM on Jan. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • It depends. Life and marriage have ups and downs. The important thing is how you handle them when they come. If you are commited, loving, respectful, forgiving and communicating, you can deal with them and still maintain your marriage. It's a good as you both want it to be in good times and in bad. My marriage has had good and bad times, and my husbands have had good and bad attitudes. The less we are concerned about ourselves and the more we are concerned about each other, the "easier" it is.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 8:15 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • The short answer... yes.
    Fights come and go. Issues come and go. Romance comes and goes.
    The best thing I've seen about marriage is that it is a constant work in progress. Not the word "work". If you don't put the effort in, if you don't forgive AND forget, if you don't compromise and work together, it won't last. Marriage is not a "me" or "you" thing, it is a "we" and "us" thing.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:18 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I'm only 10 years into it so far, but it isn't getting harder. It's changing, but in good ways.

    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 12:20 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • It is easier in that I know my husband knows me and I know him. In ways that are really deep and subtle. It is nice to know that someone understands you and you don't have to explain anything. On the other hand, it is nice to "get to know" someone else too. Your husband knows ALL your stories after a time. So the hard part is how to stay interested and connected. Sometimes I think that cheating and arguments or the like come from boredom and not because you don't love that person anymore. Just where did all the excitement go. So marriage is comfortable (for me and can be for all lot of people) and your safe place to go. It is also something you need to WORK at and make a choice each day to stay committed. There are ups and there are downs. Each week, month, year, or years are going to be different. No doubt it is a challenge. Is it worth it? Well, for me yes. It is such an individual response and unique to each relationship.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:24 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • For the record...I didn't mean cheating as in I cheated or my husband cheated. I mean people in general. I often see how we take people we love for granted, especially a spouse. It is the most important relationship you will ever have. Long after the children are gone it will be you and your partner. So nurturing that relationship should be the primary work in a person's life.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:27 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I think it is kind of like a long road trip. You can have miles and miles of clear skys and straight roads, then suddenly it turns into a curvy, treacherous, and snow packed highway. Then before you know it, roads are clear again and you can relax. Also, throughout the long drive you become more confident and more in tune with the car and the road. Similar to a marriage. You hit different situations throughout the years. Some are bad, and some are good, but eventually you get more confident and obviously experienced, and you learn how to deal with problems better, so it does get easier and better.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 12:31 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I agree with frogdawg. Just as in driving for a long time a person can get overconfident and in a marriage a person can take things for granted. That is when "accidents" happen.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 12:33 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • it depends...if your both growing, maturing, and truly love each other it gets much easier but if your the type of ppl. who are stuck in the same place, can't get over the little things, etc... then it doesn't get better and those are the ppl. who get devorced.

    But for me it's gotten So Much Easier!
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 1:23 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • For me it is so much easier!
    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 1:28 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Certain things get easier as you grow together. Your marriage becomes a well-oiled machine. But what can become hard is when new things are thrown into the mix.

    It's ALWAYS going to be work. My parents were married 53 years, and it was always work for them.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:31 AM on Jan. 2, 2009