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Depressed after tubaligation?

So I recently had my tubes tied..after my 3rd I can't help but think Ive made a huggeee mistake....I feel like I have taken the most beautiful thing...I could possible do and ripped it away... I feel like I was pressured into it by family and friends... I just want to cry....anyone else feel this?

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Asked by Nikibugg022 at 6:55 AM on Jan. 2, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (6)
  • no but always know that a tubaligation IS reversable! so if you feel it was a mistake then by all means get a reversal!

    Answer by ChaoticSoul at 7:13 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Honestly - having children is not the most beautiful thing - it's raising them.

    What were the reasons your friends and family gave? Why did you listen? It's important to try and use some logic here. Fixating on pregnancy alone as the "end all and be all" is not healthy.

    However, you need to speak to your doctor - perhaps some of your eggs could be harvested instead - that may be cheaper than getting your tubes untied. And maybe speaking to her/him could help you sort out your feelings as well.

    Answer by Wimsey at 7:40 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I never had a tubal but I had to have a hysterectomy for medical reasons. I wasn't planning on more children and it was my decision. I still felt what you are discribing. It is a major loss when you are no longer able to conceive. It's normal to go through a grieving period and it may include sadness, anger at others and yourself. Give it some time to get used to. You will discover you are still a great person, mom and it will free you up from the issue of birth control, making sex more enjoyable (IMO). It takes time to work through losses, even those we bring upon ourselves.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 7:45 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I never regretted mine, but I did mourn a bit when my youngest turned 1 (my tubes were tied during his birth). I was 110% sure that I didn't want any more kids after 3, so that wasn't the issue. For me it was more about realizing I was becoming a mom to older kids and that the pregnancy and infant days were over for good for me. I didn't want to go back, but I was nostalgic I guess is the best way to describe it.

    Maybe give it some time and see how you feel in a few months- a year from now... and then if you come to the conclusion that it was truly a mistake for you, could you have a reversal? I hope you can get your feelings all sorted out and find peace :-)

    Answer by SahmTam at 8:08 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I knew that after our third either myself or my husband would be "taken" care of. Once the decision was finally on us my husband was pleased that I couldn't go through with it and couldn't ask him to either. Not that I want more kids it's just such a permanent decision. I didn't want either of us to feel regrets. So saying that I can understand why you are feeling the way you are. I felt horrible thinking about having my tubes tied.
    Is it for medical reasons that your family wanted you to have yours tied? If that's the reason and it's for your health I hope you can come to terms with your decision.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:25 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • you should not feel bad but look at it as a new beginning. now that you know your not have anymore kids you can begin to plan for your future. remember the younger they are the more you will be tied down. i love my kids but i'm happy to have my tubes tied. maybe i can go on a real vaction in the next couple of years

    Answer by swiss_coco at 9:27 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

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